History Textbook of a Fifteen Year Old;

2006-07-01T01:21:00.000-07:00

edit/
Each day pass, my desperation grows.
I despair to see how blind the eyes of her friends were.
I despair to see that I could not do anything to revenge her wrongdoings.
Revenge is wrong, but I want it done.
I cannot stand to see how all those people could form friendships with her.
Swimming in her endless vomit of lies,
sinking into the seas of her wrongdoings.
I've underestimated her power,
But now I will vanquish the little thing I call her 'power'.
I'm angry, no longer mourning
I'm pissed off, no longer in grief.
I don't need the company of a false friend who pretends.
Not everyone is comfortable with a masquerade of people that you can pretend to be best friends with.
Not everyone wants to associate with a bitch.
I'm really grateful to all who are behind me.
Who heard my tales, one-sided,
but heard another to make it double-sided.
I don't need any confirmation to justify my actions.
I just have a promise that I will get what I deserve.

Damn hot now la nabei.

I went to Weixin's house just now, went with her to Geylang to get some stuff, then back to her house again entertaining her dog Scooby. It's adorable, and it doesn't try to hump me or show dominance over me any more, yay, which means that I'm dominating it and god, it sounds wrong.

Going to Heart of God tomorrow with Peck Hoon dear :D Tingyi's going too, yay. And I just remembered tomorrow's Youth Day as well.

Okay, Thursday, Mr. Tan's farewell part-ay. I was kind of sorry to see him go, but the sentimental attachment ain't there, so not much feelings. A few people cried, and I wasn't one of them. Surprisingly. I thought my waterworks were kind of loose, but nooo. What a shame he has to leave, but he can't help it I guess, because if I were him and had to travel this distance for that bit of extra cash, time is still too precious to give away for cash. Pity, pity. Anyway Christina is the table for the other cake until I rescued her with chairs, so be grateful :D

Me, Sam and Jackie didn't like the cake cos' it was chocolate plus mint and I hate mint. Unless it's mentoes, but the point is I didn't quite enjoy the cake.

Monday is a holiday! -hintwink-
Tanning day.
(:
Hi Wendy.
I'm soooo random.

The golden blend is stronger than the dark blend, la.

2006-06-28T03:41:00.000-07:00

Some people just totally don't know how to keep their tempers in check, and boy, I thought I was bad. :/ Oh well, the wonders of the world never cease to amaze me. Tsk.

I'm lazy to update what happened for the past few days. Pffft. POP sucked as expected, and my court shoes didn't hurt even without stockings yay.

Anyway went for Maths remedial. It's for the whole of sec three express, so I don't feel too lousy. Rushed off for dental, met Peck Hoon, Phyllis and Wei Hua on the way and I hope I've gotten Wei Hua's name right. :D
So heard that there was a fashion show or something going on at Peck's church - Heart of God if I ain't wrong. If only I hadn't had a dental appointment I'd have popped over. :O Anyway Phyllis and Peck dropped off at Dhoby Gaut to go off to their church and so left me and Wei.

We took to Orchard then said hi to her mama and I left. I saw that Coach wallet I had. Fake of course, from the Orchard MRT. Bought it like milleniums ago but I didn't use it because I favoured the LV one. I think I'm going to change it now. Heh. So rushed for dental, in the end the appointment was late because another patient had a little problem. Rushed for nothing. =_= Got YELLOW! Just as I had promised Peck :DDD

Wah cb Ralph Hot is like S$82 for 50ml and Dolly Girl's S$59 for 30ml, knn. Saw a really pretty nautical inspired kitten heels today. I think it's more of pumps, seeing that the heels are practically no existence. I'd check it out once I get my allowance, which is on Thursday. This Sunday's Youth Day, does that mean Monday's a school holiday? If that's the case I wanna get some fresh air, may it be tanning or shopping. Either way will do, and I think TEENS has a very interesting issue this month. "What happens when your friend becomes a copycat."

(:

The battle ain't over yet. :D

2006-06-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

Okay.

Today went to Peiying's house to do our science project.
Woke up late today cos' was sms-ing until like 2am yesterday. =_=
Tired.
I stoned a lot today. Hmmm.
So did most of English. Borrowed her Maths paper for reference.
Note the italics please. :D

I have this urge to do something really violent, but never mind about that.

Stupid Christina, reopen your blog la. Annoying. =_=

Okay anyways, what day was it yesterday? A beautiful sunny Friday. Pity Wendy couldn't make it to outing ):
Pity, pity.

Sentosa was a ball of fun. Saw Sam Goh there too. Fascinating.
I don't know why I just called Sentosa a ball of fun, rofl.
Thankfully wasn't sunburnt. I guess that's just the way my body works?
I've been sunburnt only once in my whole life. Yay. :D

Had Ajisen Ramen for dinner. I think that Hello Kitty notebook from Japan is soooo adorable!
Thanks Weixin(: Loves! Even though it's pink. =_= Ickity.

I think I'm going to church tomorrow.
I've been contemplating this decision for very long, but I decided it's time I confirm it.
I think I'd drop by the nearest la. Elim Church.
I'm like so new to all these that I don't even know what time do I have to go there. :/
Anyway check out Friendster soon for beaching pictures(:

The Lord will aid me on my quest.

2006-06-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the past few days are great.

20th June
Went makan with the same bandmates excluding John. Had a wonderful discussion.
I love French Fries and Corn and Fish McDippers and Narnia is like totally disgusting mixing the margarine with salt and ketchup. And corn fluids. Rofl, I joined in too. :D

21st June
Can't say DXO's Vertigo2 was a blast because some nasty things happened.
A guy made me smile that night, thanks for the drink and free cab ride and entertainment you irritating pest :D
Can't believe the club closed at 3am.
Anyway got fake tickets.
I want a refund! D:
Damn, should've gotten it from Wilson.

22nd June
Busy busy busy day!
I was nodding off the whole day and froze like shit.
Acted like some emo pie the whole day.
Damn cold, thanks to wearing sleeveless and miniskirts when a downpour is going on. =_=
Freeeeeezing.
Even after going home to change and going out with Narnia and Christina I was still freezing. Brr.
Something nasty happened to my friend whom I met there... Aladdin shoes are fugly, deal, so is the wearer anyway rofl.
Anyway I feel so bung today.
And stupid Easwary pang-seh us again.
She's going to DIE! :DDD

When my mobile screen flickers

I rush to read your message

Realising it isn't yours

I sigh.

2006-06-20T03:24:00.000-07:00

It's okay, Christina, we will all be here for you. (:
I grieve for your hurt and loss, but it will be over soon okay.
Loves loves loves! I will bring many many sweets for you, specially for you! :D

Today was terrible. I slept throughout the whole plane ride and I think I drooled. :O
Crap-o-la.
Ate KFC and I couldn't sleep. Must've been all the hormones they inject into those poor little chickens. ):
Couldn't get muah chee for Wendy and Cindy. ): Aww. Well it's Hua Lian's product and doesn't ship to Taipei, pity, pity.

I hope the sausages will survive the night. I forgot all about it and just put it in the fridge only omg. Rofl. If cannot waste my moneeeyyy. ): Anyway sms-ed a bunch of people to announce my comeback! :D Hohohohohoh.

Tomorrow's an exciting day.
I'm finally going to see/hear for myself how nice Tempest Rising is, judging from what everyone had been raving about. Okay, not raving but praise la okay.
And Singapore's damn cold la, I love it.

I don't want that to be our last embrace.

2006-06-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

I'm more than just miserable.

I feel like a total wreck. Oh, screw emotions. Bloody hell.
Because in less than 2 hours, I'm leaving my home.
The place where I invested all my emotions into. Damn, it hurt so much.
Yeah, it's just a place where I sleep eat shit watch tv and all that crap. But it felt like a little girl being torn away from her favourite toy. It's a childish kind of pain, where you wish it didn't exist but it hurt more than your lover slapping your face.

I don't want to leave.
I haven't had enough time here.
I wish I had been here for two months - then more or less I would've been more inclined to leave, because by then I suppose I would be very sick of this place.
But two weeks left me desiring for more.
I wish I could stay here until I'm so fucking sick of it that I want to run away from it.
But I don't. I can't take my mind off it.

There's humongous blisters on my feet/heel because I went shopping just now in Converse shoes. I think I'd be wearing slippers tomorrow rather than the new shoes I've bought. Heels again. I'm dead exhausted.

Since I'm tired now, I have the probability to crap. So, blog censorship time. Rawr.

Countless toilet rolls of your lies.

2006-06-18T10:23:00.000-07:00

Too much to update la can. So many photos to upload, and I'm god damned sleepy now because I just had a sauna session. Sort of. :D

SATURDAY
I went ximending as usual. Some photos to share!

Jolin Tsai's autographing session!

Dancers promoting an event. Yes, it's real school uniform, which beats Singapore's boring, fuddy duddy safe uniforms.
I wished a million times over I studied in Taiwan.

ROFL you can see my name there behind the camera crew. I don't know what they are filming though, but they are like interviewing random people. I tried scooting away from them so I don't have to be interviewed. :|

Dude, check out the crowd for Jolin's autographing session.

So long that I have to take two photos to show how large it is. It's actually spilling over the road la.
But I'm not going to move all the way there just to take a photo. =_= After taking so much effort to squeeze so in front!

DINNER AT DA JIE'S

We are going to be indulging in a fantastical European styled cuisine.
French is it? I forgot, but some of the dishes are god damned nasty and da jie is practically forcing wine down my throat.
Okay, so I did chug myself with it, but hey, she played a part too! D:

My beautiful untouched plate! Awww, look at that pretty hanky for my lap! rofl.

First dish of the day: bread, shellthingies and prawns! :D
Kind of like appetizer I guess.

This thing actually tastes kind of nice. Like some sort of cake. I love it. And there are fish eggs on top I think. Very salty, delicious! :D

The salad. It's horrible, trust me. But it looks pretty.

The soup. Tastes terrible too, maybe because I had a little too much wine. It tasted like sand to me, and I was struggling to finish it without retching.

At last, something delicious. The sauce was the greatest, and I love the broccoli. :DD

My favourite - dessert! It was the tastiest cake I ever had, even though the cherry tasted very plastic. YUM! :D

Okay, that's all I would bother. My internet is so screwed that it took me two days to do this.

SUNDAY
Today wasn't very eventful. Went out late with mama.
Bought a really nice top from IROO. Checked out lingerie with mama at Women's Secret and Pierre Cardin.
I want that Shu Uemera eyelash! Tokyo lash bar :DD
Ate spaghetti, mama bought roasted chestnuts. Grocery shopping, then cabbed home.

MONDAY (aka today)
I'm bugging my mama to let me go shopping for the last time.
And I'm packing my luggage now for tomorrow's flight!
Overslept today too.
Woke up at noon. =_=

Ta-ta for now.
Gotta' work that Photoshop skills for Rui Lynn's blog. Pffft.

The sun is shining
But it's raining as well

2006-06-16T08:24:00.000-07:00

Okay my ma is so funny.
She wants to change my name. As in, for change my name for real. Change all my passport and stuff, my IC, my documents. It's going to be Lin Yu-Ting I think. Sounds damn cheena but hey, I'm born in the country where cheena-ness originated from. =_= She said she'd do it soon, so I asked her how soon is soon and she said about three months. Is she serious?! And my brother's going to have this uber gay name, something like Rui Hong I think. Damn GAY la! DD:

Okay, ladies and ladies, look at me. Visualise my face. Visualise calling me Yu Ting. Visualise the teachers calling me Yu Ting.

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No, not good. Nuh-uh. I don't mind changing my name if it's for the good (I'm supersitious la can!) but it's kinda weird.
Like I lost something.
*shrugs*
Oddity.

Anyway bought another bikini tosday. :DDD Looks uber pretty. But the colour scheme not that nice. But I still like it la. Hahaha. So anyways. My ma was like complaining. Saying it's so expensive. S$134. NT$2680. Aye, I agree, expensive. If I had the money I'd go buy the ones at Newurbanmale because I ain't exactly very fond of tan lines. Anyway, thank god I don't have a fondness for wearing tube tops, so it's kinda' alright I guess.

Xie laoshi came again today. To do my back, as usual. Asked me how my shoe was. I just grinned and lied through my teeth. :D I feel very thirsty today. Maybe because I lost all my fluids through mense la. Okay that was such a crude topic I shan't touch on it any more. La di dum. Maybe pictures of some things for protecting stuff. You know the Chinese fu zhou and stuff. Yeah.

Also Triumph has a new bra. Party bra,

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Lol. Just saw the TV ad, couldn't resist. :D
Loves~

2006-06-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

Shit, I overslept today. I feel terribly hojjible. Yes, I delibrately spelt that like that la.
Anyway I had some odd dreams. I dreamnt that I was going shopping with someone then that person's mom sent security guards to drag her back home. =_= What a dumb dream. Anyway I'm growing weird. Yay. My current favourite song is Carol of The Bells by The Choir Boys of Harlem. Quite nice, but only 1 minute 46 seconds.

Today is partly cloudy partly sunny. It's like, you can see the clouds but the sunlight is shining right through your window. Haha.

< This photo, in case too dark to tell, was me lying sprawled on the floor. Yes I took it myself. :D There you can see my big butt. Yay.
Gotta' shove chocolate down my throat to soothe the le terrible pains cramps give.

I'm a grumpy woman yesterday, but I feel tons better today! :DDD

2006-06-15T01:12:00.000-07:00

/edit
Okay I changed my blogskin again. Why? Because I had nothing to do, that's why.
Image credited to me.
Pretty good looking considering I was in excrutiating pain while making that in Photoshop.
The layout is credited to some nice person on Blogskins whom I have forgotten. Oh dearie me, I'm sorry.
Anyway I don't really like or hate this layout.
But I just kinda' got sick of the glamour queen layout.
I'm hungry, I'm going to go off to eat.
Ta-ta. :D

I'm in the most rotten mood now. So rotten that I nearly spelt rotten as rotton.
Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.
I hate being a girl sometimes.
But they say this is a gift of God.
The gift to conceive is given only to women, hence it's a blessing.
Feels like a curse to me because it's very inconvenient, incredibly dirty and totally painful.
Okay I'm going off to stone because it hurts so bad.

Also, information: I'm flying on the 20th.
See y'all. :D

A victim of treachery

Who has been hiding for too long.

2006-06-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

Patience. Perserverance, Determination, and Strength!
Our Percussion section's very own slogan for teaching juniors!
Founded by I-Mai, co-founded by Christina, inspired by Easwary's brave deed in guiding *****. :DDD We love you for that! lololololol. Damn spazz la can.

Sometimes, I hate band because someone there made it a total shit hole for me. But my section people are so loving, besides that, there is also the gorgeously tiny sec two batch which are all nice people whose company I enjoy immensely. (I don't know if they enjoyed MY company, but I seem to either hang out with them or with my section)

Percussion section, rock on. :DDD Jammers. Yay.
Anyway I better hurry up use my Photoshop. Before going back to Singapore.
I'm sick of this gu niang layout already.

And I wonder if anyone actually reads my blog. o_O; I update like almost daily la. I'm sure people are finding it boring. Tsk. Please lie to me and tell me 2458673769 people a day read my blog. Rofl. I'm kidding.

Plant a little white lie in her head.

2006-06-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

Went to mama's office. Josh is totally adorable. He was laughing like a total maniac as me and my brother played with him.
Before going home I went to 3C to check out the price of the webcams - usually around S$30 la .Quite reasonable I suppose.
After that at around 6.30pm we went shopping - for underwear, where else my brother hung around the bookstore.

My ma agreed to buy me another set of swimsuits. But another day. Cos the mall was closing. ('twas almost 9.30pm, you see)
Anyways.
Went home.
New underwear.
YAYAYAYAYYA.

I'm really tired. Baaah.

Tottering on heels
Blisters are unavoidable

2006-06-12T00:25:00.000-07:00

-excited squeal-

Too bad for those who don't understand Chinese, because I'm too lazy to translate, but the basic meaning is that, that product works! In three months, shed inches! :DDD I'm totally excited and I ordered one from http://payeasy.com.tw. (: It's even featured on my favourite show, nu ren wo zui da, so doubtlessly, it must've worked. And it's so fucking cheap and affordable! Only S$10! Man, I can't wait to kiss my thunder thighs good-bye! Omg, omg.

Two days of waiting, and I'd have that beloved product in my hands! I'm considering ordering another one. I think I will, just in case I finish it. -squeal- I'd go double order now! :DDDD

I know losing fat in targeted areas never work (according to those bloody doctors) but I'm going to prove that wrong. Yey. I'm also trying out SANA, which supposedly reduces the love handles and stuff. I wonder if it works. o_O; Got quite a few compliments, but I'm not sure if those testimonials are real.

The direct translation is 'coke cream'. I don't know what's up with the name, but hmmm, I suppose it works. Somehow. So many testimonials and earning a feature in my favourite beauty variety show, I don't see how it wouldn't work. Yeah, good stuff don't need advertisment, but who knows? ;D

By the way, I'm too lazy to upload the pictures of my shopping spree. So there.
My day today was another boring day! Unless you count the Payeasy moment, I was pretty ecstatic and suddenly, the world seemed so bright. :D

I think I'll edit my post later if anything comes up :D

Also, my computer's internet sucks penis and I'm using my mama's laptop now.

I'm grinning at you

Because you're fighting a losing battle

Your army is depleting

Mine is still strong and determined

To make sure you fall

Real hard

2006-06-11T03:16:00.000-07:00

Shopping spree all day with mama.
Pictures up later, if I'm even bothered to.

My mama spent $1500 today.
Including me, of course.

2006-06-10T06:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, today was a nice shopping day cos' it was good weather and only drizzled. Yay.
So I went to the usual place, and took many many pictures. :DDDD
Not really a lot, but I took plenty of time to post them here on Blogger.
I bought stuff for some people, and I bought a gorgoeus beach tote.
Pretty cheap for a bag, if you ask me.

I'm really excited to go shopping again and wrap up what else I have to buy.
Rawr.

^ Three levels of neoprint machines. Anyone's jealous?

^ There's Roxy in Taiwan - no Billabong yet though.

^ Look at how big Taiwan's Watsons is. You really ought to compare it to the one in Singapore, lol.

^ 1queen2king! My favourite place to makan. :DDD

^ World of Condoms! Lol, I was bored la can.

^ Inside World of Condoms.

The Face Shop... Just random picture.

^ This is a dining place, where you supposedly dine with stuffed toys. Icky idea.

^ Starbucks (OMG)

^ OMG again.

^ The Body Shop :DDD

^ wtf, got some old guy's head.

^ There, better. It used to be a shop called Kira Kira, but I guess it ran out of business and a new shop takes over.

^ Weird guy dancing.

^ Jun Plaza.

Aye, so that's about all eh? Also, today I went to collect some chinese medicine for meself.
Mama made them.
Cousin came today too - boy, he's a bloody cow, ramming into everything.
And trying to disintergrate everything.
I'm a happy and tired girl, though I didn't get much clothes.
Must plan what to buy!

Smiling is easy.

2006-06-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

Da Vinci Code was pretty cool today.
Slacked all day at home, Photoshopped some crap.
The computer guy came to fix the internet.
Running smoothly now. (:

2006-06-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

Yay. Yesterday I went makan at 101 with mama and nana. I ate ramen and they are some Chinese cuisine. Then we walked around .Went to Kappa and bought a sweatshirt and threequarts for nana, who refused adamantly to accept it but was forced to.

Earlier on, I went to do my hair. Permed. Even earlier I went to my second uncle's house. Josh, his only son is so adorable. He's only three, and he asked if I had a willy. I said no, and explained because I'm a girl like his mama and therefore I wouldn't have a willy. He went, 'No, you have a willy!' And tried to pull my jeans down to see it. -_-

Then I asked him if nana was a male or female and he answered male.
Then when his dad went to the toilet to 'wee-wee', his dad would help him to hold his willy.
When his dad is peeing, Josh tried to hold his dad's willy as well to guide his urine.
At least that was what his mama said.
Anyway, it's funny.
Josh is an adorable kid who can speak pretty good English considering his age and race.

Anyway, second uncle's new home is gorgeous. Condo, I think. Even when we were taking the lift up to their home on the seventh floor or even to the basement to his car, there were men to help us press the numbers. As if we don't have hands, but it's a sheer form of luxury.

Their house is totally huge, and there's only two rooms: one for the parents, the other for the kid and his Indonesian maid. (fancy that! Your personal maid.) The living room is like fwoah! With surround system and an ultra huge LCD screen... There is a wall-shelf, a huge lounge chair, a wooden rattan table thing, a metal 'coffee' table, a long leather sofa and two cute chairs. Also, their own bar. With plenty of Versace glassware and omg, rows and rows of... alcohol.

Both toilets in the bedroom had a bath tub, I'm not sure if it's a jacuzzi.

A dining room with leather chairs and a wooden table obscured with some woven stuff.

In other words, it's a rich asshole's house. Everything thing expensive is available in abundance, every furniture is designer and worth a good price tag. Josh has an over flowing amount of toys, ranging from toy cars to stuffed toys to a carton of magnets he tried to get me to play with. He also has a personal TV and DVD player in his room. (to watch YOYO TV and Disney PlayHouse I expect)

Nana and I had lunch. I busied myself entertaining the hyperactive Josh, then we watched King Kong, before jetting off to the hair salon.

A very interesting occupied day for once. I still can't wait for Saturday.

MOS or DXO eh? I'm having a hard time deciding. Maybe I should just go for both. :DD But I don't know if I have enough cash.

I'm going to watch Da Vinci today. Maybe I'd go shopping for my bikini today. Yay. :D

I can't stop looking at the bitch
Because she amuses me so
How she tries to fit in
Her original style was less amusing anyway

2006-06-06T00:17:00.000-07:00

OMG

I can't believe it, Blogger just totally wiped my post away. Like totally.

Okay, stupid blogger aside, I hereby present a new blog layout --- Glamour Queen! Credits goes to me and mah photoshop babey and aramaki for the lovely Anna Sui interpretation which I thought was extremely well-done, bringing out the whimsically girlish charm of the cosmetic brand.

Today's light drizzles for weather reports; my mama's ceiling leaked of rusty-smelling water last night 'till now and I think it's a busted pipe and no, Peiying, it's definitely not pee it doesn't fricking smell like urine. Guuuh.

I forgot what I posted just now.

Anyway I'm obsessed with all things emo all of a sudden. Emo boys are like FWOAH! Maybe I'm getting back on the 'good' track. :DDDDDD
I don't know. Hehehe.

Tata, a short post for today.

When you've got a gun to my chest
Don't lie and say it's a bouqet of roses

2006-06-05T06:51:00.000-07:00

Some crap from Friendster Bullentin Boards...

I'm 72% EMO?!

[ ] You hate the world.
[x] You hate society.
[x] You think vampires are cool.
[x] You write poetry.
[x] You have black hair/dyed your hair black once.
[x] You wear/have worn black eyeliner.
[x] You write poetry that's not for school.
[ ] You are freakishly obsessed with darkness.
[ ] You think love is a waste of time.
[x] You've given up on the world.

Total = 7

[ ] You've shopped at Hot Topic.
[ ] You've spent over $100 at Hot Topic.
[x]You wear more bracelets than a Russian...
[x]You own a dog collar, that's not for your dog
[x] You're extremely pale.
[ ] You are a member of a poetry site.
[x] Your screen name has been an oxymoron.
[ ] you are an aethiest or agnostic
[x] You don't believe in god.
[ ] Your screen name has/had X's in it.

Total = 5

[x] You have been referred to as scary.
[x] You have been referred to as demented.
[x] You have been referred to as weird.
[x] You have been known to hate teachers.
[x] You have been known to cause trouble.
[ ] Your hair has been dyed a color that was not
natural.
[x] You have/or had at least one photoshopped
picture on myspace.
[x] You think pictures look better in greyscale or
sepia tone.
[x] You have been referred to as evil.
[x] You are scared of yourself sometimes.

Total =9

[x] Suicide has crossed your mind
[x] you have screamed before -
[x] You use big words that no one has ever heard
before on occasion.
[x] you've seen The Exorcist.
[ ] You liked The Exorcist.
[ ] You've seen Saw.
[ ] You liked Saw.
[x] You've done voodoo.
[x] You hate sports.
[ ] You dress up as the most morbid thing
posssible on Halloween.

Total = 6

[ ] Halloween is one of your favorite holidays.
[x] You have a strange liking for fire.
[x] You have only a couple of actual friends.
[x] You're not afraid of spiders.
[x] You have had a conversation about how you
want to die.
[x] You've painted your nails black
[x] One or more of your myspace pics has/had
writing on them.
[x] You have had the word "...." in your display
name.
[x] You love art.
[x] You like art with negative meanings

Total = 9

Now add up your total and multiply by two.
Repost with your score saying I am *score* % emo

2006-06-05T06:14:00.000-07:00

My nana came today with practically an entire bush of dumplings. :DDDD
Aw, I love her loads.

My favourite idol drama series is on TV! Mah la jiao shi. (((: It's not those soppy romance ones, but it's an effing comedy. I've never laughed so hard my life except Kang shi lai le - for TV programmes that is. There's always Dawn and Peiying to make me laugh. :DDD
Today I just read all the old magazines. All of I sudden I also realised my mama's got small feet. Size 35. Tiny eh? I'm like 37.5 or 38 already.

I was watching watching this programme about match-making. And there's this really pretty girl who only has one dimple. I think that looks great. And there's another pretty chick with high cheekbones. Love it. (:

I've more or less decided to buy colour contact lenses, though I'm still very hesistant about what colour. I think I'd buy grey, the original colour I've decided on. Besides that, I left my contacts in Singapore and I'm due to change it on the 14th cos' it's monthly disposable, and I don't like to wear overdue lenses - irritates my eyes. x_x;

Downloaded plenty of songs on Ares... also, weixin's back! :DDDDD I also saw this s$300 MagicFit thing which looks like the Osim iSlim thing. Or whatever it's called - you know that vibrating belt? Yeah. It's endorsed by my favourite celeb. :DDD

I really love green tea y'know. (:

The more beautiful the women
The cleverer they are at deceiving;

2006-06-04T23:48:00.000-07:00

Today was as usual, a horribly boring day in which I was unoccupied. Even magazines don't cheer me up any more. Tsk. I'm bored.

My nana spent the whole afternoon making dumplings for me (sweet eh? ((: )
So she's coming down tomorrow. So I think I'd have to fix my hair on Wednesday, since they close on Tuesday. Bloody hell.
Of all days to pick. Tsk.
Anyway, my mama's comin' on Tuesday and I guess we are going to watch Da Vinci Code cos' it's PG-13 here in Taiwan - okay, just 'P' but it holds the same rating as Mission Impossible III, so that's obviously not NC-16 huh.

Lucky me. :DDDDDD

Anyway because my hair's a giant frizz ball even with rebonding so I hope it looks good even with a bloody perm. I'm scared, yet I want something new. (:
I bet I'd look weird if I have to tie it up, but oh well.... Good luck to me. -_- I've got a magazine cutout, the waves are exactly the most natural-looking, but I think it'd be fine. -crosses fingers-
Wednesday!

Ahh. :DDDD

I'm watching America's Next Top Model now. Yay. Someone just flashed her ass with some writing on it to Tyra Banks and she's damn pissed, so is Janice and Eva.
Then Savaas, their personal trainer is teaching them yoga. They look so spastic. xDDD And they kept sweating. I didn't know yoga could cause perpiration.

Then they are like posing in swimmin suits, gowns... So fuuuun. :DDDD Kelle didn't have expression. Pity, she was pretty good looking. I hate the big one with overflowing boobs. Forgot what's her name. I just... hate her face. x_o" Then Tyra Banks talked to all of them, one-by-one, then blah blah. Talk about weakness and strength.

Okay, commercial time. Gotta' publish this post before my internet doesn't work any more.

2006-06-03T10:23:00.000-07:00

I think someone found out about my private blog and now I have to delete it. Fuck you shitholes.

Anyway, today has been another terribly boring day. Surfed Friendster, replying testimonials. Confirming stuff. I went to do my hair today. It didn't quite turn out the way I'd expect it to, because the curls are way too tight. And small. Not big, generous, loose waves that Japanese perms give I guess. It's like straight all the way then suddenly a frizz of curls. Bleargh. My mom's holding on to the cam now cos' she needs it (she flew off to China today) so you are all spared the hideous sight of my new hair do which I'm trying to find a way to live with it. My fringe looks great, but my head feels flat. I hadn't quite gotten used to rebonded hair. x.x;

Corinne Bailey Rae's Like A Star is a totally awesome track, and I recommend it to everyone.

Movies watched today:
- NANA
- Perhaps Love

Tomorrow my nana's coming to bring me some dumplings. I love her home-made dumplings, I bet ya they are even better than those the fancy hotels make and put at their buffets. Fucking disgusting. However, my nana's dumplings rocks your ass on and off yeah. :DDD

I think my bed's too comfortable or something, because normally, even if I sleep at around 1am, I would wake up at 9 or 10 in the morning, but I woke up at near noon. Fuck. And that night after Vaunt, I fucking slept at 4am and woke up at 11.30 for band.

Chee, maybe my body's too relaxed. Do I really need more than 8 hours of nappy-bye?

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I was just reading this new book I bought today at Page One (at Taipei 101 Mall) before going to do my hair. It's called Prep, a slightly mellower version of Mean Girls I guess. Mean Girls was cool anyway, but I had a gut feeling our lives are much more bitchier than just that. Anyway, my point is, something is happening. I was just watching NANA and when they were analysing Nana's personality, it struck a chord in me.

Oh wait, I'm crapping again. I'm going to cut myself short before I blabber crap to the whole wide world, fuck.

Anyway, stupid Christina made me do this.

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. The tagged victims have to come up with eight different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover. (duh!)
3. Tag eight other victimes to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there's no need to do this AGAIN.
5. Lastly, most importantly, HAVE FUN!

Gender: Male? (I can't make up my mind. --;)
The eight points (in no order of merit)
1. Trustworthy
2. Not too physically inclined. >>; (d'oh)
3. Mature and charming personality
4. Loves me whole-heartedly
5. Sensitive to my endless mood-swings and emo times
6. Able to offer a shoulder to cry on
7. Reliable, can meet up for dates
8. Good dress sense. (((: (no bengs, gays, whatever.)

The tragic 8 TAGS!:D
1. Peiying
2. Monique
3. Cathy
4. Melissa
5. Kimberly
6. Kitanya
7. Beryl
8. Dina

The smell of cancer lingers in her mouth

Stains her fingers

Entangles itself in her expensive threads.

2006-06-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Taiwan now.

I have nothing to blog about, because I haven't been doing much except pigging out in front of rented DVDs.
My current repoitoire (however you spell it)

-Domino (love how they cuss in every sentence)
-Mean Girls (yes again - my all time fave)
-Closer (could do without the strip club scene)
-Drumline (thanks angelia! :D)

It's a growing list, m'dears.

2006-05-27T05:51:00.000-07:00

A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM
BY EDGAR ALLEN POE

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Is this all a dream? Please slap me and tell me it's reality. (((:
I love bestie!

2006-05-27T03:58:00.000-07:00

Today was Family Day. I went to Peiying's house this morning for brekkie. Then both of us rushed down to school. Didn't lift a lazy ass finger to help set up the DJ stand thing. Stayed there for a while before Audrey dragged me off.

Showed up for my shift. Sat there like a dummy watching Peiying and Michelle man the radio. Didn't do much. x.x; Went 1 Endurance's haunted house with Audrey, Rachel, Rebecca, Mayble and Foteyn. Met some juniors there. Cut-ted queue - wasn't very much frightened by the funny things inside. Just felt a lot of hands around my ankle and that it was too dark and I could barely walk without banging into a door frame. (ow)

Hung around. Got scolded by two assholic teachers for taking the lift where it was actually perfectly legal to take it because everyone else did, so I think it was unfair that I got scolded and the others didn't. Just my luck that those idiots were smart enough to take it when teachers don't exist. ): even Miss Chia let us take. She was laughing (not really, but sort of) at us saying that we don't have legs to climb the staircase and had to take the lift.

Talking about abuse of authority...

Saturday. Last blog was Tuesday. Didn't blog from Wednesday to Friday.

Was it yesterday that I went out? I can't remember. I met Suhanna yesterday. That sweet idiot met up just to give me a belated birthday present (: A gorgeous Topshop top. Omg, I totally love it alright. After that she had to rush off for PTM. Ahhh, love ya loaaaaads! <3 I wore it to Family Day, btw. Yeah, that's the top.

Thursday had mass.

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY NARNIA! ((: YOU'RE GROWING OLDER AND OLDER THAN ME AND CHRISTINA.
Gospel singing... I can't really comment, except that Chloe has a really strong voice. Wasn't that surprised they won, since like half of the hall was chanting 3 Humility 3 Humility all along. Pft.

Mass was surprisingly enjoyable. The priest wasn't as wittier as the one we had last year for something which I forgot, but he's a nice guy. I don't know, but when he was telling us about the Holy Spirit... in front of us, beside us, below us, above us; I didn't catch the explanation behind it, but it made me feel at peace. Like, as if I felt I was being protected all the time. I rarely felt protected, maybe because I'm more or less assuming the role of the protected. Or maybe I was just an ungrateful brat who didn't feel protection, but it is so difficult for me to feel so.

I wanted to buy a Bible and read it. Maybe I really am missing out on something in life; I enjoy singing the hymns, because they are easy, although the lyrics are a tad bit saccharine sometimes. I don't know, but maybe I need something to rely on. So I can leave it all to someone to help me, rather than struggling through alone, emerging from the struggle painful, tired and haggard. I don't know.

On a day which I forgot, on a cold, drizzly day, I went out with Malene, Katrina, Kimberly and Weixin. Though I wasn't part of the clique, they allowed me as a tag-a-long. Starbucks was warming. Shared some talk, little bit of gossip. Kim left early. Followed by Weixin and Malene. Me and Katrina hung around a little longer. I was relieved that I was able to carry on a proper conversation with her, because I thought we wouldn't. Thank god.

I hated our class because it was so difficult to feel in place. Majority of the people know each other, where else my close friends were all in Humility, Intergrity and some other ulu pandan class but just not Grace. I have a friend or two here and there, but we don't hang out as a clique any more because of some one's departure. Sad eh.

My hatred for men grew deeper today.

My days are numbered

Twenty-four days of solitude await me

And I will face it.

No fear, no tears, no dread.

2006-05-23T03:13:00.000-07:00

EDIT(:
I'm so happy happy happy now and I'm gonna love Peiying for this. She made me laugh until I probably had stitches. The Times book - Male response to rape?! lmfao. Then there was what Vietnam Era? The title is so putting off, and boy, that Human Nature crap was so chim that we got bored. Haha. Then we started doing that Usbourne Puzzle Game and I kept on finding the pirate kit. :D Hahah I rock.

I really love love love Peiying a lot and I just will not believe sec one happened. At all. ((: Loads of love from me to you Peiyiiiing! Son and plaster friend! Rawr.

I'm more miserable than I think I am.

Tuesday. Today. Normal day. Nice, cooling weather. In the morning, nice cooling weather translates to freezing air. So brought a sweater, and lugged it around with me all day. In the middle of the day, at the toilet, she shouted at me in frustration. That's when everything fell apart. I didn't want to bring up this issue we both are facing, because she has so many other miseries on her mind. I couldn't bear to tear her down, but I am.

Lunch-ed today with Peiying, Dawn, Weixin. Rushed down to basement to buy battery, and thankfully it fits my phone (otherwise I'd slap myself silly). Went home, showered at my own sweet time and sauntered to Peiying's house. Now. Blogging. Friendster. Saw new testimonials. Something in my ribcage felt warm. I smiled. Approved, wrote back.

The weather was not the only thing that was cold today.

I'm losing faith.
Can't hold on any more.

2006-05-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged for half a century. Anyway, today's Monday. Saturday, went out with Suhanna, Sunday with Sam Goh, and that's all I'd bother to say, because recently I'm pretty much disturbed. Thank you for your honesty, but it hurts a lot to know the truth, and it made me lose faith more and more everyday.

Band. Sec one attendance is really atrocious. Like half of them were gone gone and away. Is history going to repeat itself? I feel so terribly annoyed and disappointed. I asked some of them and they all said they had something on/sick/simply didn't feel like going.

Excuses? Real reasons? I don't know, I'm simply not in the mood to explore it.

These two weeks have been really bad days for me. I don't know if you guys can tell it, but some can. Some can see it. I wasn't surprised, because that day I just couldn't hold up the facade any more.

I think I'm disclosing too much.

Blog censorship will be enforced very tightly.
Do you see the difference between us?
The distance is growing
And we're growing colder towards each other.

2006-05-15T06:44:00.000-07:00

Just had a shower.

I need chick lit. Or flick. Whatever.

"I have this theory if Regina George cut off all her hair, she would look like a British man." - Cady Heron/Lindsay Lohan

Randomness. x.x;

The night stays, with fate.

2006-05-15T04:44:00.000-07:00

Today sucked. I failed science in overall and scraped a pass in Literature. I went to Far East Plaza to pick up my shoes, and Tangs to get this gorgeous Anna Sui mirror; that's pretty much what was interesting today. --;

Anyway, I don't understand other people's point of view. She's a slutface, that's all. I don't understand how can someone who is clearly the third party in a relationship, regardless of how un-salvagable it is, can be right. You are still the third party, and a whore, that's it. Deal.

I shouldn't be wasting my energy trying to explain why she's wrong, because I can't believe that my good friend actually believes that whore to be right, full to a hundred percent.

I hope her ovaries all die off so she can be a proper lesbian.

; slutface.

Cold wars.

I can't believe

how such a silly thing could be fought over.

2006-05-14T01:09:00.000-07:00

Saturday I towned with Suhanna! (: We went to Far East Plaza first. I bought a necklace from Princess - $14.90; she bought some earrings. Hahah. We hung 'round, then I went to Trendy Zone to get a pair of heels because I'm damn sick of my pumps which are like so old okay. They didn't have my size, but they called another branch and said they will transfer to Far East branch today (Sunday) but when I went to collect it they said they were busy and didn't transfer. ): I was disappointed, if not for the staff who apologised profusely on their behalf I would've been so PO'd.

Then we walked to Wisma Atria cos' we were bored of Far East. Hung around Topshop - we saw this really fat girl wearing this Adidas shirt and a lousy sports bra - maybe because we're in an air-con room, we could see her nipples! Omg okay, then me and Suhanna resisted grinning very badly. Obviously that girl didn't realise. Then Suhanna pointed at the silicone nipple patches thingy and started laughing like a mad woman lah okay. Hahha. Then we went to the basement to check out Forever 21. It was practically overflowing with people and it's so damn warm. I was wearing a long-sleeved top, so we browsed quickly then we got out of that sauna. Whew.

We walked to Heeren later - damn cold alright. Suhanna was eyeing the white cage-like chairs outside this 'Balcony' cafe thing. Looks damn cool. Then we checked out Fossil's watches - couldn't find the vintage one I saw in Cleo. Then we went to Basic Beauty upstairs and hung around looking at all the cool stuff. Saw some are found in Taiwan too! :D We checked out Fling, and Suhanna-the-horny-one was giggling at the dildo and all the thongs there lah. Then we went to the Newurbanmale thing and checked out the stuff there. Next stop is a hat shop. She bought a denim beret. Looks damn good on her. :D I wanted to buy the fedora hat and the bag charm; pretty-i-fic! (:

After that, we went to the top floor and stoned a while at the weird shop that had a display of lava lamps; checked out Action City, then we went to the MRT and parted our ways, back home.

So that was my great adventure of yesterday. Ta-da. Today I just went to Far East to collect my shoes but they forgot to transfer, as said above, blah blah.

Peiying introduced this song by Panic! At the Disco to me, and I think it sounds damn good. The music video is practically a work of art, so whimsical, evil and so an Alice-in-Wonderland but the more macabre version. (: Here's a link to the video, because Blogger refused to let me post the proper video here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1lK9ioPAUY

Enjoy ((:

If I ever had a lover

I will call my lover champagne

Because

My lover makes me drunk

I will drown myself in my lover's perfume

Because

I am addicted to my lover;

2006-05-12T02:00:00.000-07:00

Wednesday.

I went roller-blading with Rui Lynn and Rebecca. I fell down twice; the first time I went off-course and rolled into the grass. Second time, I scraped my knee on the concrete. I can't bend my left knee properly because the scab is forming at a very odd joint of my kneecap and the moment I bend it I think I'd have broken the scab. There was yellowish pus-like discharge probably due to the plaster - and also the fact that I didn't bother to wash the wound immediately. (in fact, I continued biking and blading. Lol)

It hurt like crazy on Thursday and I was venemently shredding the newspaper. It's even worse than a menstrual cramp, but I think the 'excrutiating' pain I felt was because I hadn't fallen down in quite a few years - I guess that means I should fall down more often so I'd get use to the pain huh.

Thursday.

Photo-taking. I think I screwed it up this year - stood in the second row (thank god). We had two fun shots - as usual, but this year was so different. ((((: 'Twas fun, though I wasn't in the best of moods. Afternoon, went to that ulu pandan corner of the school to prepare for band's photo taking. The blazers drowned me - I was miserable. The 3Ps of swearing - You have to be in pain, pissed, or perspiring in order to cuss. Anyway, the Ps I fulfilled for the photo taking was all 3. The pain didn't come from my knee though.

Anyway, had bad news about someone that I used to think was actually nice. Two-timing is something so unforgivable that if I were the victim, I'd probably gouge the said person's eyeballs out. It's so vicious. That sort of fucked up pieces of shit doesn't even deserve her to cry over, but I guess she will so because after all, she once gave her heart to that person. Anyway, the third party is the most disgusting person I can probably imagined and I think my jaw just slammed onto the floor when I heard about it. Yuck okay, and wtf?!

And I can't believe that piece of shit thought the victim was the one in the wrong - talk about being blind! Two-timing, certainly is a sin that is even worse than one night stands when one is in a relationship, because it they are emotionally involved.

Anyway, that's all for that issue. I think I better stop here before I launch into another long-winded hatred about how sinful the above was. All I will do is to offer my condolences that you've been met with such a lowly rival and that your 'loved' one wasn't so 'loving' as you thought would be.

Just now I went makan dinner with Peiying. I had four pieces of roti prata, she had fishball noodles (I think) and thosai (whatever you call that) popped over at her house to watch Hard Gay (Hardo Ghey!) which was so spastically funny that I laughed my fucking ass off. Literally.

I have to finish up this post, because my guardian's son needs it.

All of a sudden, I feel very neglected because this Friday (aka today) is Vesak Day. A public holiday and I stayed at home nursing my scraped knee. Was that pathetic or pathetic?! Scraped knee or not, I should've gone out lah fuck.

I don't wanna run away

Baby you're the one I need tonight

No promises

Baby now I need to hold you tight

I just wanna die in your arms

2006-05-09T03:07:00.000-07:00

Today was Maths paper two. Screwed it up like crap. This morning rushing art. Omgomg. I was so bloody glad that art was over. I spent an hour on sketching in my drawing and line art-ing, then I took another hour to paint all the crap in, fill in the colours, add in the last details. Blah blah. I remember my hand was like shaking and trembling like mad when I was painting and I nearly screwed it up. Well, the picture's pretty screwed but hey, it's all over. Heh.

There's nothing very new today, except I feel like exams are over even though there's still one more paper left for tomorrow, but I can fail History for all I care because Art is like, the "last exam" kind of feeling, yay! Vesak Day is coming soon (: Oh, oh, Thursday is photo-taking. Dipshit lah, my hair still sucks... Better remember to straighten that morning. Tomorrow is Wednesday, going to roller-blade instead of zoo because! Too far. I think. Can someone give me some pointers on how to get to East Coast Park?! Otherwise we have to cab there and waste of money! ): I paid for the beautiful Ming earrings and I will be getting them soon~ Yay, so excited. There are tons more pretty earrings at Tzarist (check out 'plugs') like some sold, some still there. A bit pricey, but I guess, good quality is rarely cheap. -shrugs-

Too bad the Ronin concert is on the 23rd, otherwise I would've gone. -sigh- Anyway, I'm at Peiying's house now and it's pouring like mad. I love it. Dawn went home just now. Rawr ): I refused to study for History because I think I'm going to fail and besides that, it's the end of exams! And time to go shopping; boy, my materialistic wishlist has sure filled up since I haven't been on a single shopping spree lately and I feel deprived. (no no, not sexually deprived please. --;) Vesak day hopefully can go shopping spree with Weixin because I simply hadn't gone out with that lazy princess for like so bloody long lah okay. (: Can't believe we're like what best friends and we rarely go out. The cons of being in different cliques I guess - we are weird. I'm the funny-in-a-crude way kind of person, and she's funny-in-the-more-refined-way. Hahaha wth, and I'm the Queen. :DDD

Ok wtf I'd stop airing dirty linen in public now. :D Hahah I'm just lame because I'm in a freaking good mood that bloody art exam is over. Halleluia. :D There's So You Think You Can Dance? tonight on Channel 5. Peiying says so. Hahaha, and obviously I missed the episode yesterday too, as usual.

I keep on forgetting to watch that cos I have my 'Queen' variety show to catch. :D So befitting right. Hahaha. Anyway, Peiying's playing her guitar again! Rawr. :D I wonder if anyone heard of this song called No Promise by someone called Shay Ward or something I guess. That song is highly interesting but I can't find it. Bleh.

Alrighties, that's all for blogging today. I'm practically blogging everyday because I have nothing to do. Whenever I have a lot of crap, I can't blog. Hahah wtf lah. Okay I'm going off because I wanna stop blogging and save my blogernergy (aka blog-energy) for next time.

Ta-ta!

Photoshop can cover the ugliest pimples
Erase the most obvious cellulite and drooping thighs
Photoshop can manipulate the scenery
From thunderstorms to bright beach suns
So can we use Photoshop
Manipulate ourselves, bring ourselves higher than we really are.

2006-05-08T00:15:00.000-07:00

I probably have the most boring life ever.

This 'holiday' as dear Melissa calls it, is so boring that I can't stand it any more. Bleh, thank god I can get out of the house tomorrow. Yay! I'm feeling a little light and floaty and excited because tomorrow's the second last paper. Thank god exams are ending soon, because I can't stand textbooks any more and I desperately need to read something non-textbook like Dan Brown's Angels and Demons which I have yet to purchase. And of course, Moris Allen's The Five People You Meet in Heaven, and to borrow GossipGirl from Weixin for some good chick lit. I'm considering watching Aquamarine, a chick flick, no matter how retarded it seems. Bleh.

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Okay, short hiatus, just had maths tuition, so I couldn't finish my post. Bleh. Anyway, I just realised honesty isn't always the best policy. Sure, it's good most of the time, but you must know that it could hurt people's feelings if you put it too bluntly across. It's classified under, 'insensitivity'.

I did an IQ test just now, and even though my results are pretty good, I decline to reveal my score. :D I'm rushing art now. Do not disturb! D: Sometimes, I have this really bad thought that I wished I took Additional Maths.

NO I DON'T OMG LA.

I'm royalty, she's no peasant

But are we doomed?

2006-05-07T04:54:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I was bored and I was reading random people's blog and I came across Monique's. So I started reading her entries blah blah blah, and I found this really interesting post about this book If You Could See Me Now by Cecilia Ahern.

[When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or a picture falls off the wall, it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when it breaks, it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from your pain... It's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, it's silent, you're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it.]

When I finished reading that, I felt something inside me shifted. Man, I so gotta' get that book.

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The nostalgic feeling grows stronger and stronger. I guess it happens every three to five months I guess? I would be fine for that time being, as I immerse myself with work, relationships and endless social activities. Sometimes I wish that's how my life would be like - or something like The Pelican's Mr Grigg. Boring, mechanical and so routine, but at least I don't have to worry about anything. What a simple life.

But no, my life has a different routine everyday save for the first segment, like morning, waking up, going to school.

I just realised that my blog certainly does not do justice to my character. I realised that more than half the time I blogged just because I'm not feeling good and is either mood-swinging or procastinating the shit out of Life. I feel so sorry for the people reading my blog because it's always so depressing. --;

Anyway, this is a picture done by Kidchan of Deviantart, one of the few artists I admire immensely. I guess this fits with the above extract from a book eh? (:

Hahahahaha.

I could just get on with the empty laugh for forever.

I have more miserable things to blog about, but because I'm hungry and in dire need to dinner, I will leave.

A broken heart

Breaks silently.

without a trace.

2006-05-07T00:31:00.000-07:00

I'm in a great mood now because I did a facial that smelt beautifully of strawberry cream and here's a bunch of pictures I would like to share. <333 I'm in such an awesome mood now, that nothing except art could probably ruin it;

A kitten sneezes. >< Aw, so cute.

A kitten snuggling in the hand of its new owner.

A newborn barely a week old.

It's growing up, learning to walk.

My utmost favourite picture; a pair of muscular year-eroded hand cradles the baby bunny ever so gently with his rough hands that were thought never be able to host such a fragile being in its hands. The little bundle of joy looks reasonably content in his hands. A very heart warming picture. I love it. :)

Fairytale romances do exist in reality afterall

They happen to every lucky girl;

But me.

2006-05-06T01:38:00.000-07:00

I felt nauseous just now because I was using the binoculars to do some 'building watching' ... Spotted Park Mall, Hotel Ascott, Fortuna Hotel, and some random business buildings that don't have names.

I was talking to John just now MSN. Hahaha she's so funny. Thanks for lending an ear anyway even though I was like in such a bad mood and just throwing my weight around because of the vomiting feeling I guess. Hahaha. I have only done two pages out of the ten pages of art I have to do. Pathetic eh. And I have two days left. Rush rush rush!

I have a very odd feeling in me now.

Sometimes I would think that I'm the ugliest freak on earth, but whenever I go online and check out my Yahoo account (something like Friendster la) then I see a few messages left behind by guys wanting to be my 'friend', it always make me feel... flattered. Like, someone is vying for my attention. Yet, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I really deserve all of that.

I guess I should learn on how to stop putting myself down. Looks aren't everything, but they are something, I'm sure.

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I feel nostalgic. This morning I had the strangest dream. I dreamnt that Shok Wen and Weixin came to Taiwan with me and we went to Ximending. Then I was reminenscing how my room looked... the sights and sounds at Ximending... the frosty weather that bites my cheeks, turning them pink... the delicious food... the gorgoeus people to look at. Just thinking of that made me very nostalgic and nostalgic enough to abandon any attempts to do art.

I really miss my home a lot.

Oh baby when you talk like that

You make a woman go mad

So be wise and keep on

Reading the signs of my body

2006-05-05T00:25:00.000-07:00

Muahahaha. Today Chinese paper was pretty average lah, not that bad, but paper two sucked a shit lot. I couldn't understand the passage at all, and I was like panicking and the only word I could think of was shitshitshit. Anyway I did rather okay for paper one and I wrote extra long for both the composition and letter writing. Two pages, though letter writing is more of one and one sixteenth. Composition was like one or two. Can't remember lah, I don't wanna think about Chinese paper.

Thank god again that art was postponed. The bad thing is that if it's on Tuesday, I can't go out. Sad... ><; Anyway, I'm going to the zoo with Rui Lynn, Audrey, Rachel and Rebecca after exams which is about Wednesday I think. Monday is a lovely holiday. (: Because it's Physics paper and I don't have to take it. Yeeaaah.

We ate at Kovan's Macs after school, I ate cheese waffles and I stole french fries from Dawn and Peiying. Heeheee. And a shi-ken-new-get. Hehehe, make a guess of what that is suppose to be.

By the way, Peiying grew from a fruitcake, so I grew from a chocolate mousse! Sho-ko-lah-teh-moo-s. I went to The Body Shop with them at Kovan and we were fooling around with the fragrance and I had Peiying to fall in love with this fragrance that I've always wanted since like last year? You know, the one that smelt like chocolate. Amorito. It smells really good, and I'm going to chope it! My scent. :DDD

Okay lah, I have nothing else to blog about already. Later when I'm going home I gotta rush art. Okay not rush, but have to do it. Gotta' do without Sims today. ): So sad. I want to go Popular now and buy markers the 1.85 one so I can do art. :DDD

Before you could count to ten

You are out and away -

2006-05-03T23:23:00.000-07:00

Maths and Chemistry totally sucked- Maths are things that I actually know but I neglected to study. -hangs head in shame- Anyway, today was pretty boring and as usual I went to Peiying's house. (haha) and we ate at Banquet before heading to her house. So I ordered nasi lemak and the both of them chicken rice.

Then this bug that looks like a mutated overgrown bug flew to her fringe and crawled around. So I went 'Omg Peiying there's a bug in your hair.' Naturally, she got freaked and tried to swat the bug to death, which unfortunately survived and dived headfirst into her chicken rice and swaddled around the cucumbers. I picked up a plastic fork in the haste to kill this creature and I squashed it repeatedly - it survived. (omg what horror) So I tried to drown it with curry sauce, and plus squashing, yet it survived once again the tremendously horrible act. (or at least I thought so is horrid)

Anyway, PY went to exchange for another plate of chicken rice under the persuasion of this nice auntie who is the cleaner. So, we finished our meal in somewhat of a peace, with the exception of two squirming schoolgirls who were overly paranoid thinking this world is full of bugs crawling everywhere and maybe invading their food. (right)

So peace was restored for five seconds until when we were on the mrt we had to try to persuade Dawn to come to PY's house but after a load of excuses and reasons (haha) we let her off and poor er zi was pouting and throwing a tremendous tantrum. Fortunately, she's alright now because she's playing her acoustic guitar. Yay, thank god, daddies ain't no good with kids. :DD

And PY just said she saw a guy with stinky feet. Make a guess who that is. ;D And for the record, it was because someone said he saw a fat something. Hahahah.

Roses really smell like poo-oo-ooo-

Okay lah that was just something random off this song I'm listening to and also my blog. Got lyrics pasted all over my blog. Today, I tried to talk to someone but she just had to go offline. Ugh, she's sealing off the communication path herself. There's nothing I can do if they want to throw tantrums and refuse to resolve the issue. I will try again if I'm in a good mood again. -shrugs-

I'm such a nice person. :DD

Anyway, maybe not that nice. Today I just totally got pissed after maths paper because of the last question which took me 20 minutes to try to solve and couldn't, and someone added fuel to the fire. Both of us got a bit shirty with each other, but after we toned down and spoke like normal people. Hmm. That's all that's exciting and happening today I guess.

Gee what a boring day.

I realised that I really love blogging because I can type loads. :D I'm totally addicted to Sims man - and can you believe it?! They have their own langauge - Simlish! :DD
Anyway I'm really happy that Art is postponed due to the elections. Yay! (: Because otherwise I'd be rushing like shit now okay.

And I said hi to Freda! Cos' I'm at PY's house and she's on the phone with her. Oh heheheheh. :D Okay, if I continue blogging otherwise I won't be able to play Sims.

By the way, a certain Chemistry teacher is not resigning because some good friends of hers had persuaded her not to. I don't know if I ought to shed tears of joy or sorrow, because I guess I'd be failing my Chemistry for the rest of my secondary school life... ^^;

P.S. Someone's online. (: I refuse to talk to her. Hahahah.

Deaths occur like summer rain.
So common, that no one bothered to count them any more.
So numerous, that no one bothered to hold funerals for those pained souls.

2006-05-03T01:33:00.000-07:00

Biology paper today sucked shit because I studied the completely wrong things lah okay. I'm like so pissed because I forgot that was a bloody xylem thingamee. ): Awww man. I think I'm going to fail science this mid year. Tsk.

Literature is totally insane okay. 2 hours and 20 minutes and I don't think I've ever written so much words in my entire life time until I swear my arm is going to fall right off and dislocate itself from my shoulder and it's so bad that my arm's muscles are aching now as I type because my right arm is stronger than my left one so it's always raised - wait, I'm not making any sense. In any way or other, my arm hurts like shit.

Just now after school dismissal I went with Dawn and Peiying to Macs to eat; snapshot with band juniors who were hanging around there too, makan-ed, then went to Peiying's house where I am now. Dawn left at 4pm. >: So early. Anyway, saw someone just now but didn't say hi because she seems to be diao-ing me too - either that, or maybe I'm just too lazy to talk.

During 'recess' I had a great time with FFC. We were like laughing like mad dogs and I couldn't memorise my Lit quotes properly because I was like laughing so hard. Hahaha.

His curly brown hair tousled like a chrysanthemum...
How well he knew the flower be-decked grasslands, the gorgeous constantly changing sunset clouds and wind-eroded boulders by the roadside.

Hahaha wtf la.

P.S I ate three granola bars today. I'm mad.

P.P.S Exactly 7 days to the end of mid year exams and celebration. :DD

I feel as dumb as a Sim.

2006-04-30T02:27:00.000-07:00

My hatred for my brother runs deeper than the Montagues and Capulets.

Anyway, today has been a terribly boring day. I toiled away swallowing facts of Social Studies, why Sinhalese and Tamils are always fighting, what is up with the Protestants and Catholics... All that conflict and arguments are a sign of intolerance for others and selfishness.

Under Peiying's suggestion, I've decided to do Quayside for art. Yay! Time to scout for pictures~

P.S. I made the template myself in Photoshop - credits for the software goes to Peiying and whoever made this gorgeous brush. Loves! (:

A double-faced woman was nice to her enemy

And equally nice to her friends too.

but her friends one day began to doubt -

If she can be so nice to her enemy

could it be possibly she is lying to us too?

2006-04-29T01:37:00.000-07:00

I'm in the best of mood now, but guilt-ridden too because I have not touched my books at all. =X Boy, this keyboard sucks. Damn difficult to type okay, I don't understand how could he have used it.

Anyway, I'm happy because I bought a anti-frizz shampoo from L'Oreal (can't tell if it worked), a purifying face wash (some Himalayan Herbal thing) and Dove's shampoo gel with what? Seaweed collagen. Don't know what was that for. Heh.

I finally found my goggles - the black ones with degree (can't wear contact lense to go swimming, dunno why) and my swimming trunks. FYI, it's a two piece, hence the 'trunks' part. Blahblah. Wei Xin is having ballet now.
Just now I did a facial sort of thing - that mask Jeany recommended many moons ago. My skin feels supple and I smell really good. wh00t! :D Maybe that's why I'm in such a good mood. Yay~

I am left with twenty dollars. Thank god that in two weeks time I can claim hundred and fifty and shop like mad. YAY! Counting down to end of mid-years: 12 days.

Mugmugmugmugmug.

2006-04-28T07:28:00.000-07:00

I'm back home.

22.27pm, says the digital clock integreted into the computer.
I'm in a terrible mood now after my shower, because I ran out of my Dove conditioner and I have no money to buy one. ):
Kidding, that's a contributing factor to my misery, but only like 0.5% okay.
As all of you know, I'm a very thinking person. I think a lot. More than how much you ever thought I would have thought. So as usual, I thought of my thoughts today.

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Sorry, shit la, my junior (on MSN) is like distracting me from my thoughts.
Anyway, I was just reflecting on whatever someone just said. Typed, rather, but yeah, about there.
So, she was saying that I wasn't talking to her. Let me clarify.
1) if you don't make the effort to talk to me, I won't, because especially if you piss a trusted friend off
2) not that I don't trust you, but your actions and attitude towards me from last year has really made me guard myself ferociously against truly being your friend - seeing how you always yak about being a 'true friend' where else I don't see the qualities in you at all.

The next point. I don't understand why are you so morbidly terrified of being alone. There's nothing wrong with being alone - it merely shows that you are independent and not so dependent on blending in with the crowd. Being alone doesn't neccasarily mean you don't have friends, (sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't, blahblah) and there is nothing wrong with it.

Maybe you've never been alone before, maybe that's why you don't reflect upon yourself. You, in my most personal opinion, has never ever looked at your own actions and reflect what have you done right or wrong. You are simply immature in your thinking - and what more I don't know why you had to get so uptight over a bloody thing that isn't coming in like, at least four months I guess? Maybe you're this petty little brat who needs plenty of attention, and you want to be STAR of it.

I don't know, but that's what I think. When I'm pissed, every single mean thing I've ever learn/snitched from bitches that surround me in my life, will be regurgitated, however you spell that bloody word.

I have more to say, but I will not, because otherwise someone is going to start whining about cyber bullying and how mean I was - I didn't mention any names, I didn't specify any incidents; evidence? Bullcrap. To conclude this angry outburst (okay, not really angry but sort of. mildly pissed?) - it's really funny to see posers themselves call other people posers.

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Speaking of trusted friends, actually, I don't really trust anyone, not because I have a silly phobia, but just because as a child - I was never encouraged to pour out my emotions. But to keep them locked, with a padlock, behind green fences with barbed wires.

Oh, there's like so many people in class that pisses me off - yet life is wonderful. A certain really pushy person is most certainly pushing her limit. I hate being a loan shark. -_-

I trust you; [in no order of merit]

Wei Xin, Pei Ying, Shok Wen, Lynette, Melanie -

But even so, you don't see my heart.

2006-04-28T01:56:00.000-07:00

Today has been an awesome day, and I want to forget what ever happened yesterday where so much miscommunication made me wish I was never involved.

First we went with Peiying to her dental appointment and we saw (gasp) a certain female teacher in a remotely famous women's magazine. ^^ Then we went to rent VCD - Closer. We are watching it now, after a delicious lunch of maggie mee, sliced sausages and eggs. Yummmmm. Heard that Qing and Cathy were on the way. Omgz la, Jude Law's accent is like so hot. Hahahaha.

At school for almost the whole day we stayed at Common Test venue. Accomplisment of the day: I drew a graph! (right) Chinese newspaper Weekly Friday was like what. I mean the cover is two girls acting so kawaii that I thought I was going to die from their cheenafartiness. Denim and white lace so does not match - in my opinion.

Monday
English paper kind of sucked. For paper one I didn't know what to write at all okay. Then I went to Peiying's house and ... UNCLE WEE IS LIKE SO FUNNY LA. Hahaha, I won't elaborate, but anyway, we were too high partly because we drank ourselves silly with Absolut Vodka. I was glowing red (literally) in the face but I'd swear a thousand times over I am not okay.

Tuesday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MONIQUE AND DORCAS!
Nothing of particular note happened today. ^^

Wednesday
Had to bring thermometer today. Mass booking cos' some people didn't bring their thermometer. Sad!

Thursday
Chinese oral at 4.30pm. Major dispute. Anyway, was mugging in the library with Peiying but we ended up chatting and slacking. Pffft. Oral sucked, cos I didn't know what to talked about. I only talked for about five minutes I guess. I went to Peiying's house again and had dinner and played Sims. (:

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Anyway that's about all, I'm in such a good mood now that nothing can possibly spoil it!

...Hello, stranger.

2006-04-22T02:14:00.000-07:00

This week flew so fast that I barely had time to catch a moment of solitude.

"He who is afraid of being alone is one who is afraid of even being alone with himself."
-Anonyomous

Can't remember where I heard this quote from, but I swear I did. Sometimes, I like to hang around with my friends and laugh my ass off, but sometimes, I plead for a silent moment for me to meditate, to think about what happened, what have I done wrong, and what others have done wrong. Call me a spiritual idiot, but I'm not, I just like to think. A lot.

Yesterday - Friday. It was a good day. Sam Lim, P'ying and me went to Lil's house to watch Top Secret. P'ying and Lil cooked maggie mee for all of us. It tasted good. How often can a good friend cook a warm meal for you? The movie was hilarious, even being the second time. I love the Skeet Surfin' song!
First wave, don't get tired, second wave, aim higher, third wave, hold and fire!

Yep. The au frutti tutti rutti song was great too. It's like, retro rock is damn good! Unlike today's music, they are clean, fresh, and entertaining.

It was rained again. In anyway, we went home, Lil and her bro went for tuition.

Today was a day that was a true thinking day. 2.4km run.
I would like to thank Janani and Wei Xin for being my motivation. As I ran, my lungs were bursting and my legs weighed heavier than lead, the sight of them passing me pushed me to run faster, to always keep ahead. I sprinted like a mad ass at the end, and was insanely pleased to get fourth position, regardless of whether the fact that I'm competing outside of my class, it was great.

Poor Wei Xin was squatting over the drain vomiting air, perhaps because she didn't eat in the morning. Just spitting saliva. I went to record my timing - she lost her card. That sucked, but luckily Miss Phoon (I think) as there to bear witness that she ran six rounds. (She bloody hell did you fucking turtle, I saw her behind me all the time) I don't know what's my timing, but I guess it's 13.59 if I didn't see the wrong sheet of paper.
Thank god my gastric days were far behind me and I'm as fit as a fiddle! (almost)

I went to PS. I mulled around MOS Burger with two slices of bread and a cup of corn soup, thinking of the many things I would say if there were no restrictions in the world. I waited for the shops to open - bought eyelash curler at SASA, then I mulled around Yamaha. My god, the freaking drumset is like way cheaper than my bloody saxophone, which cost like 5k and the drums are only 1.8k at the most expensive.

I WANT!

You just don't seem to see it

How I was always there for your everything

You just don't see it

I see you as my sister

You just don't see it

How many times you're hurt me

You just don't see it

The concern I have for you overwhelms myself

2006-04-20T03:53:00.000-07:00

I'm at plaster friend's house and King Kong's on DVD player. wh00t. Watched it before at Taiwan with my mother (forced la). Lilian is like fiddling with her earring I think heeheeeee. It came out huh. Anyway, I forgot what really happened today...

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I remembered! This morning I was like carrying my blazer around the whole school so annoying la can. Then I left it in the band room during recess and during recess I ate $1.70 worth of rice at the blue plate stall, milo, waffle (1/16 bite from Rachel before I went to buy one of my own cos too hungry la) then ate Pringles in Maths and stole Famous Amos (Anus heeheeeeee) from Xiao Qing. Today is a food day yay.

After school got soaked in the rain on the way back from RM. Bloody rain stopped the moment we reached school so like fuck la. The rain sucks. ))))): Anyway, I borrowed a pinafore from the General Office and man it's short. Actually Lilian's la haha but the point is, it's short. I'm in St. Elizabeth! wheeeee.

Oral kind of sucked and rocked cos I din't know the teacher's name and was like 'Uh good afternoon teacher'. heeheee. Took 82 home with Xin Ying Ian Tha - I'd leave you to guess who la. Btw, the Tha is the Goh one. So we took MRT from Serangoon to plaster friend's house now, and the said friend is happily watching King Kong and asking random questions la. Sister also watching and boy, this is like the first time I used so much Singlish in a blog post. See, I'm getting lazier. Tsk tsk.

...Man, the food smells nice.

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Yesterday was PFT. I didn't get A for anything and that idiot Wei Xin got full marks. -_-" Bleeeeh, at least I win her for Chinese.

Btw, Pei Ying's sister explained why Nicole Kidman wouldn't act for KK. Quote: She is too old already. Kidman cannot run, and besides that, she's more expensive. Unquote.
And I'm making Lilian laugh! Yay.

I'm starting to dread art.

2006-04-16T23:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, SJC Concert Band ruled Victoria Concert Hall.

Today, misery ruled me.

2006-04-15T02:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Good Friday.

I towned with Xin cos' Wing and Lil couldn't make it. I don't know to say if I was pissed or whatnot - anyway I squandered away all my money. I even went to cut my hair. It sucked cos' it's too layered and that idiot guy snipped away the parts of my hair that's straight and left all the wavy bits all over. )':

Went CP to look for aprons with Madam Alya and Narnia - tong pang Ms Ng's car to CP cos the sun's like this glowing fireball shit. Saw Wendy, Kim and Cindy on the way. Muahahahahaha.

I'm not in the mood to blog now because I gotta' conserve energy for tomorrow; number two, I'm in a bad mood because of my foolish decision to cut my hair. Bleh.

Wielding songs for the unseen -

I'm blinded by your words that I'm not immune to it any more.

2006-04-13T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm like so annoyed.

Band was so extraordinarily tired today. I went makan with Mel (aka smelly belly jelly telly melly anly welly) and the usual bunch of band mates excluding John. I delibrately put Mel's name there cos' I concocted a new nickname for her. Heehee. I can't wait for this Sunday to be over because we've been practising like madshit for it.

Tomorrow's Good Friday. Hip-hip-hoorah. Right. Anyway, a review of this week.

Monday;
Baaaaaand-ed.

Tuesday;
Trained to town and grabbed some art crap after lunching at R.M with band people.
Ronin came instead of 98.7fm. I went with Nadiah to mosh; I had half the idea I'd look dumb but hey, that's what I call enjoying music. I'm not a rocker, man. Hee.

Wednesday;
Baaaaand-ed. Makan with the same band mates.

Tomorrow's Good Friday. I need a plan. I miss my phone.

The moment of distress and dismay left a scar on my left leg

2006-04-09T01:54:00.000-07:00

Aw, the air smells so good.

It was raining just now I suppose; the air was fresh, and a faint scent of freshly mowed grass was present. That was pretty strange, considering I was living on the 26th storey. Today felt like a good day, but I felt my heart grow heavy at the growing pile of homework and revision lists. My schedule for the week;

Monday - Band
Tuesday - Free;
Wednesday - Band
Thursday - Band
Friday - Good Friday;
Saturday - Band
Sunday - ENCORE II; concert!

Two free days of the week.

Whee.

I'm feeling really random now. I don't know what my mood is, but definitely not the time to bitch and crap because I don't wanna be seen as an emo fudder with angsty posts all over but hey, there's nothing really happy to bull about now.

You know what, I gotta be off now cos' I have not done my SS. And I forgot the freaking design of my Barbie's dress for Art and that woman is so killing me. Sheesh. I shouldn't have handed up my sketchbook beacause now I have to rush my work as I have forgotten my design - if I did, I could've been doing it now and saving myself tons of time. ):

drop it like it's hot.

2006-04-07T22:54:00.000-07:00

Band practice today really sucked because someone wouldn't 'take ownership' and learn to play properly. Of course, there's a scapegoat - as much as there's tension building between us, I still feel sorry for her 'cos she had to take the blame.

I went to Compass with the usual gang of people minusing John. Ate at Banquet then parted our ways. I bought a Newpaper and read it briefly about that Constance Chee person.

I'm reading up on Mean Girls stuff now. I could relate to it, though in real life, stuff isn't always that mean, but hey. It's still pretty close as to how girls backstab and gossip about each other.

I really miss my phone. I do, I really do. It's killing me.

P.S. A really cool quote from Kitty: The knight is shining armour is simply a peasent in tin cans.

You are the answer to every prayer I've offered

You're a song, a dream, a whisper and

I don't know how I could have lived

Without you for so long

I love you, more than you can ever imagine

I always have and always will.

2006-04-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

Hey.

I'm at Xin's house now. I'm listening to The Feeling by Sewn. I'm in such a mood for mellow songs now. Doing that bloody mindmap for Bio. I wish a thousand times I was sleeping over because there's so many things I want to say yet I feel that I would need time to say. We have plenty of time, but I don't know. I'm a confused kid.

I'm sort of like declaring war on her. I can't act anymore. I'm slowly breaking down. I talked to Melly. I was pretty astounded to hear what she has to tell me. I feel ashamed for crying in front of her, but emotions are too overwhelming, and I'm obviously crumbling under the tension. I was so surprised that I could even hold under the pressure for so long without destressing. Now, my heart still feels squeezed.

I don't know how to solve this dilemia. Things are worsening, she's gaining more power and trying to alienate me from her whole social circle. I have half the idea she knows that I know, but I don't even know if she reads my blog. If she did, I hope she leaves an anonyomous tag so I can freaking track her down and make sure she gets booked for defamation and bullying. HAHAHA. I'm joking. I'm high on Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey. She rocks man. So jazzy and mellow. Raawr.

I'm not really in a bad or good mood, just tired because air-con is drying up my eyes and contacts.

Correction: I'm annoyed after reading her Friendster.

Swim Meet/ Migrated to the shade. Talked to Kim a little. Chatted with Rui Lynn and Peck Hoon... then Cynthia and Charlotte. Hahaha.

Talked to Chor Wen and I felt tons better. In the bus, I slept. Took photos of John Kim Wen Narnia.

Today again; someone stole my kiss. You know who you are(: Much love la.

Sometimes you make me want to slap you.

2006-04-03T04:48:00.000-07:00

I think I pissed fucktard off today. Mildly, that is. I've decided that I should declare open war with her today - open conflict. I can't stand being double-faced anymore, and I'm cracking under the pressure. Sorry, I'm just not meant to be a double-faced bitch like who she is.

Today was boring as hell, and I have nothing much to blog about, but just updated for the sake of updating because well, I have a few moments of glory on the computer. I haven't done my art, social studies, chinese newspaper article... omg. I could just die under the load of homework man.

By the way, an amend: It's Sewn, by The Feeling not the other way round.

I'd reply to the taggers on their own tagboards someday in the near future. (:

My heart is not for rent, so please don't take it.

2006-03-31T04:22:00.000-08:00

I'm obviously at my beloved plaster friend's house again(: Omg, I love her so. And Loh Pei Ying, I'm not a freaking piece of plaster and I'm not worth ten cents only. (i-mao) Today for PE we had the PFT crap. I jumped like 1.7 for standing broad jump okay. Further than plaster friend. MUWAHAHAHAHHA. -cough-

I was waiting for that idiot because her freaking guitar cca ended late because of a ghey ... idiot. Yeah. Then I was on-and-off entertained by random people like Nic, Angelia, Wei Xin, braces partner and blah di dum. I was bored out of my skull and I saw a fucktard talking to a certain someone. I was like freaking rolling my eyes all the time behind my GossipGirl novel, which I borrowed from Wei Xin. Cool book, ultra bitchy, I recommend it, though normally I don't freaking read chick lit. I only watch chick flicks example; Mean Girls, The Notebook and blah di dum.

Watched the netball people trained... they were linking arms in a row and hopping/jogging. I was like wtf are they doing man and I laughed my ass off. Almost.

And plaster friend just reminded me of our caterpillar walk today. That was freaking the most moronic PE stuffie I had to do ever next to the frog/rabbit jump I had in primary school and the half-squats during secondary one.

In art, no matter how hard you work on your artwork, if it's ugly, that's it. Talent is what that counts, and technique. You cannot do anything. Even if you put in three days and three nights of hard work, if it turns out like crap, your hardwork cannot be compensated in anyway. All I will say, it's too bad for you that you don't have the talent. ^_^

I said that not for myself. But for a fellow classmate who had suffered injustice - in my opinion, that is.

By the way, I lost my phone yesterday. Lost it to the hands of a vicious personnel who stole it away from me. I lost more than just a modern technology, but I lost a part of my soul too. Because, inside contained pictures that I can never reclaim and numbers that I shouldn't lose for the second time. I don't know how to tell my aunt and mum about this. Can I lie that the school confiscated it? I'm afraid they'd call the school. Anyway, I wish the thief will return it to me. I miss my phone dearly, and my heart's broken terribly.

"Manga can be really addictive. and it proves that Japanese guys are much better looking than their Caucasian counterparts." - Monique.

Random quote of the day. Haha. I was almost laughing my ass off when I read that. :D

By the way, I found out the name of that song - The Feeling, by Sewn. Excellent song. I love it.

Pei Ying drew me a prettypretty eagle's eyeball(:

Dancing queens of our time
So many autographs we have yet to sign
My ego inflates deflates and completely flops
But nobody's making me say the fullstop.

2006-03-28T02:34:00.000-08:00

I'm at PLASTER FRIEND'S house again and she's polishing my phone. :D Ahahahah. Today we went out with Dawn and Lilian. Me Peiying Lilian ate at school. Then we went Bugis there and makan sushi with Dawn cos' she's hungry. We were laughing and laughing as Peiying retold the story of me and Dove and whilst the ice kachang kept tumbling down like UNO stack. It came in three colours with sweet corn. Red green yellow - no St. Emilie. HAHAHAHHA jokes jokes. I'm so mean. -cough-

Then we went to take neoprints! Fooled around basically and made funny faces. :D So, we sent Dawn off after distributing the neoprints. We walked around Bugis street and went up that pink building place, walked around, checked out level three and well, parted ways with Lilian so here I am now. (:

I'm changing blogskin! After I publish this post. I will reply to the taggers the next time simply because I'm one lazy 'tard.

I can't do the talk
I can't do the walk
I can't be your friend
Unless I pretend
So give me a song and
I'll sing it like I mean it.

2006-03-24T02:56:00.000-08:00

'ALLO.

I'm at plaster friend's house! PEIYING((: I'm using her Photoshop which rocks man. WAHHAHAHHA. I'm going to eat dinner soon. Yaaaay. I've been working on my freaking blog layout which I'm only half-satisfied with cos' I'm a freaking perfectionist. Rar. We great-minds-think-alike-ed five times today. Man, we rock. Peiying says it's telepathy. Riiight. --; What cock. That meanie plaster friend smacked me. )):

Okay, now she's going 'fine' like Xiao Qing and she's making me laugh. AHAHAHHA. Time to makan, my stomach's flatter than a plateau.

I'm done from dinner. That stupid Peiying was making funny sounds and I almost inhaled my veggies. D: OH, and we great-minds-think-alike-ed for the sixth time, and we snorted. She laughed her freaking ass off at my snort because it's so freaking funny right? :D She says yes. YAY!

Yar, her parents are back. And they've noticed something wrong with the bird nest too. Bah. Her house is haven to half a million fishes and two adorable tortoises which I wish I could put in my pocket and bring home. :X She smacked meeee. )): Bloody meanoe. Okay, I shall stop that childishness of us making faces at each other.

Bah.

I can't be bothered to blog anymore since tomorrow is DA BIG DAY aka Awards Ceremony (hell to our VP) . COUGHS.

:D:D:D I LOVE IMAI PLASTER FRIEND :D- peiying.

I told cha' she's in love with me. :D -ego pops in inflated- HEH. -coughs- Someone here's smoking and it's choking me and meanoe just smacked me for the third time. I shall finish blogging like I have mentioned before because she's smacking my arm and preventing me from typing properly in PEACE, I emphasis, PEACE. I love yakult and not Peiying, by the way. :D

BYE

AND PEIYING

STOP SMACKING ME!

2006-03-18T20:58:00.000-08:00

Reply to taggers(:

Melly: AHAHA not your fault Melly(: Screw the people who changed the age limit. )x Seeyou tomorrow ya?
Cece: Okays(:
Rae: I'm not Ms Adoraby. -_- You should take white and red then! Display your looooove for Singapore. Patriotism!
Wendy: Yep yep! (x Must bring Chicky along the next time. Hehs.

SENTOSA-ED(:
Yesterday, I sentosa-ed with Kimberly Chick and Wendy! First we went to Jalan Kayu for prata - like omg can, paper prata rocks. Now I know why JK should be famous for prata, because there are so many different kinds of prata. Like tissue prata, paper prata, plaster prata (?) and even strawberry prata. I stole Wendy's paper prata and ate milo dinosaur. That imp took a picture of me savouring the icy treat:

We shopped around, looking for polo tees for AC. Saw a really cool skirt with a flare and saw t-shirts compressed into tiny boxes. Wooah. Then we went to take the shuttle bus to Sentosa. The bus was freaking crowded and we had to stand. Bleagh.

Today is a talk-to-uncles day. When we were taking the second shuttle bus (to Siloso beach) the bus uncle started chatting with us. Later on when we were leaving Sentosa by cab, the uncle was also chatting with us. Gives me a bit of a chikopeh feeling... the cab uncle. He was like, 'Sentosa so beautiful now.. got many things to see... the scenery ah, girls ah... hahaha.'

The three of us laughed uneasily along with him. ^_^

Anyway, at Sentosa, there was a couple behind us. I'm too ashamed to post the pictures up here because they are rather disturbing and could traumatise you guys for life, so I'm leaving you with the choice to visit Wendy's blog to view the monstrosity. Anyway we drenched ourselves with tanning oil (courtesy of Wendy) and napped for an hour where else Kimberly just stoned. Harharhar.

We had many glimpses of very obscene... things, and we regretted the fact that Shok Wen wasn't in our company because we are absolutely sure of her enjoyment if she was present. :D Pity, pity. *shakes head

I think I'd post the pictures later on because I'm so freaking lazy la.

P.S. Crystal Jade rocks. (:

2006-03-16T22:44:00.000-08:00

Reply to taggers:
Melz: Miss my bum. :D I know you revere me like a goddess; say no more. :DDDD
Rebecca: Tsk, jealousy is bad y'know. I won't lose it, like ever again. o_O;;

A few pictures from my handphone... Hehehhehe.

Yaaaaaani. AHAHAHAH. She was so happily posing for the photo.

WAWA. She looks more like a monkey than ever. xDDD

Okay that's all. (:

2006-03-16T22:01:00.000-08:00

Last night's rendezvous.

In the morning, I attended emaths lesson. I jetted home, and changed, rushed to Orchard to meet up with Si Wing.
HAPPY FIRST MONTH PTS(:
Towned. After sending Si Wing home I bumped into Min Pei, Fitri, Jocelyn, Pamela and Sharene. Stopped and chatted for five nanosecs - then I called Kathe.

I joined her shortly at her house. Yakked away on the swing, watching her over horny dog bounce around. Hyperactive too, just to mention it. Popped it a bar or two of chocolate. Went back to her room for a more private and exclusive chat.

Sipped a drink or two. Joked. Laughed. Gossiped. Kathe used my phone to cam whore. Gee. She's so in love with herself. --;; I rushed to Somerset to meet Wendy and Cathy.

Couldn't flag down a cab. Moved to Cine there and caught one. Cabbed to Zouk; boy, it was bursting at the seams with people. The queue was probably longer than the stairway to heaven. Bumped into Melly, Kristle, Priya, Madeline, Sheryl, Easwary and Gaya. Also some of Cathy's friends.

Decided that we are going to get bounced anyway even if we tried with false ICs and EZlinks. Cabbed with Wary and Priya to Esplanade. The crowd there are freaking old chicks. Bought apple soda, sipped. We left for ChinaBlack but it's closed. Loitered around the 24 hour-ed Macs. Then cabbed home.

That was how yesterday sucked dipshits.

I'm not going to give up.

2006-03-14T19:35:00.000-08:00

Here's another post for the results of St.Marg's POLKA III concert. The last song got us so high, until we were like freaking drunkards. After Lau Pat Sat, we were walking to the MRT...

I'm the one hugging the coconut tree. I'm a nature loving person. :D

Wheeee.

In the MRT toilet.

Narnia, Me and John. {Left to Right} We were hopping/dancing away, and Melly took a picture. Hehs.

Taking a picture with our best friend - the amazing bronze statue! wh00t!

I had no idea what was I doing. x_x;;

John and I fell in love with the bronze statue and decided to give it a little kiss. <3

I guess that's all? (: Pictures courtesy of Melly's blog.

2006-03-14T18:20:00.000-08:00

Like hello, I'm PMS-ing like mad. I don't know what's wrong, but it's as if I'm riding a roller-coaster of emotions, sometimes when I reach the peak of the tracks, I'm high like a drunkard, but when the roller coaster dips lower, I feel miserable, even worser than how a deflated balloon feels if it had feelings, that is.

Yesterday band was terrible. Well, it was better because Melly was there! She helped us out with the rhythmn and tuning of timpani (because I'm tone deafer than the deaf) and well, supplied us with Gobstoppers. After band, as usual, we went to Compass, saw Beryl, then went for dinner blah blah and home.

I was feeling down when I got home, so to cheer myself up, I made myself a huge mug of MILO with plenty of condensed milk and powder. It was the most delicious thing I ever had in a while.

There. It's even bigger than my head I think. It was initially a beer mug, but it has been out of use for quite a while, so yeah. It was warm and tasty like FWOAH and I felt drowsy after drinking it. I went to bed, which was around 10 or 11 I think.

There's E. Maths lesson tomorrow at 0830... omg, I don't feel like going at all. I gotta remember to return my library books today because they are overdue like what, two weeks? Think I'm gonna' get fined... Remind me to never borrow books again. -_-

Tagger Reply~
Anthea: Yaaaaay. :D
Peiying: HAHAHAH I have the liberty to make you jealous. :DDDD No, I will not eat that much. For convenience's sake, just go lie on Shok Wen's shoulder. :D
Christina: Yes, you suck straws. Who doesn't? (: Heheh.

Emotionally, I'm already dead.

Physically, I'm killing myself slowly.

2006-03-13T05:39:00.000-08:00

WOW.

I'm so surprised I can get online today. Announcement: I GOT MY NEW PHONE! LIKE OMG CAN. IT'S LIKE FREAKING THE SEXIEST THING I HAVE EVER LAID MY EYES ON. (besides the concert snare :D)

It's NOKIA 7360, and enclosed is a photo, in case you've been living under a rock for the past to year to actually realise the presence of this gorgeous phone.

Reply to taggers:
Peiying: My shoulder nice meh? Thought someone complained it was too bony hurr... -grin-
Wendy: YES! :D TAE buds kicks ass.
Anthea: Of course. :X Hope we can have a reunion of FPPS or something. I miss everybody.

Okay, today, band killed me. Kitchen Fiesta was freaky, because I had many 'moments of glory', as I shall quote our conductor. On the way we walked to Compass we went all drunk and high and happy again. Sang worship songs until Claudine covered her face and vehemently denied any relations to us. We parted ways as she reached home. Clau-dineh sounds really classy, yes?

I'm too tired to blog any more.

Wrapped in cloths of confusion

Lost were the rubicund faces and joyous lips

Instead ankles flooded with carmine fluid

I embraced grief

Because, I quote Opus Dei:

Pain is good.

~~Can someone shut them up?~~

~~They are arguing again.~~

~~SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!~~

2006-03-12T02:11:00.000-08:00

I was sifting through some old photos I've taken of Taiwan and now, a sudden wave of nostalgia crashes through me.

^ The main entrance of 101 Building.

^ The traffic; it's actually a whole swarm of motoscooter-riders, followed by the cars.

^ The majestic building that accompanied the clouds late at night.

^ MRT station of where I go almost daily for lessons.

^ My ma's laptop. My favourite place!

^ The dying bouquet of roses in front of me.

^ The red-orange sky of winter nights.

^ The old man in XiMenDing playing that strange ensemble of instruments to earn a few coins here and there.

I truly miss my hometown. I miss miss miss miss it more than I miss anyone else. I love that place okay. I'd promise to take lots of pictures; I regretted not doing so during the winter break last year. But I will, this June! I shall blog again later about my new handphone.(:

I miss the wintry air I used to complain about.

2006-03-11T22:57:00.000-08:00

Song on Playlist: See-Saw; Kiss
Mood: Merriment(:

I shall start off the update with replies to taggers(:

Dawn: Thanks(: Hope you feel better too!
Kit: $300 on a freaking phone bill? You must be joking me, whether it's in Malaysian or Singaporean currency, I figured out it'd cost a lot anyhow.
Christina: Yes, and I don't know what's my best friend. Crash cymbals? HAHAHA.
Wendy: TAE buddy two!(: Too bad I din't make it on that Saturday. Stupid SL!
Melly: Yes I miss my phone. Get ready to be jealous hon.(: I love dinnering with the after band mates!
Melz: Stay happy too girl(: Carry the secret to the grave!
Rebecca: ...It's not Christmas yet, I'm so not getting green and red.
Peiying: That was freaking lame. -_-

That's just about all. Yesterday was one of the funnest day I ever had with my after band mates! (: Anyway, first things first. In the morning we went to Science Centre for bio thingamee... Fooled around in lab coats and latex gloves that smelt of the dentist and bacteria... There was a dripping crystal violet and lots of fun sterilizing the table with ethanol. My heart went out to the microscope, it's so freaking cool.

After we finished the lesson, we roamed about looking at exhibits, I nearly wanted to go to the Human Body exhibition, but I was too hungry and dragged Lilian away from the Star Wars exhibit (we needed a ticket to get in) and went to Macs, meeting up with Wing and Pying. I ate with mild difficult, watched the glass box, then boarded the bus, went back to school. I walked to Compass and home with Pying, then I was milling around doing nothing much until when I was about to leave for the St. Margaret's concert the freaking old lady fell down and I had to wait there until help comes.

I cabbed to Victoria Concert Hall and met up with Melly, Sharon, Narnia, John and Jac. The concert was smashing! The percussionists were mad as hell, and the solo on the Flight of the Bumblebee was freaking good.

After the concert we went to Lau Pat Sat to makan! :D We had stingray, satay and fried rice. We ate to our fill, joked and laughed, then left with content tummies. (: We walked to Tanjong Pagar MRT. We were laughing and singing the hymns, {Heart of Worship, Come, Prodigal Son etc...} and were like freaking drunkards cos' we laughed till we are staggering.

Nearer to the exit of the MRT, we took photos with bronze statues and hugged coconut trees and Narnia stepped into a pool of water. HAHAHA. Then we answered nature's call in the MRT's toilet and took some pictures. We fooled around, before parting our ways at City Hall interchange. I think, I'm very tired at that time when the excitement wore off and all I can remember was that I din't go to wife's for sleepover. I went home feeling as if I was drunk as shit and fell asleep.

Woke up at nine this morning and blessed the sun my tuition teacher failed to turn up.

So, here I am, lazing around in front of the computer so my ass will expand. Hmmm. Ate some eggs, yet feeling hungrier than ever.

I'm bursting with happiness. (:

Even if there's no one there to share my joy

I will sing my heart out of my felicity.

2006-03-04T06:39:00.000-08:00

I know I'm blogging for the second time in the day. Like, just shut up okay?! I love blogging. I'm in a much better mood now after sucklin' on some milk chocolate, incidentally someone's favourite. HAH.

Talking online to Kathe(:

Pffft, that was random. Wendy's offline. Bah. And I'm listening to See-Saw again. Their songs are pretty much melancholic but it makes me feel better. You know, that kind of feeling you get after crying your heart out after being rejected/dumped/insert tear-inducing scenario; except, this one is dry and tissue-free. :D

Congratualtions to me! I've had had the longest flu I ever would/will have in my life. It lasted me two weeks. And an answer to my taggers (yes I stole the idea from Christina. HAHAHAHA.)

Christina: I know you're jealous. You don't have to admit it. HAHAHAHA. Remember Mr Tan said in band to turn to your left and tell the person they are your best friend? You know what, you should've turned to your left and tell the bass drum that. HAHAHHA I'M SO LAME.

Kathe: Like omg, I'm making everyone jealous. HAHAHAHA. New phone, yes, but hey, I'm a very sentimental person. >_< I'm very attached to that phone, because there's a voodoo doll from Taiwan and a cross/crucifix thing from Japan... Pity pity.

I might be blogging again later if I'm desperately bored, but I think I'm going to sleep in half an hour. Good-bye, and catch me next week.

I am okay. Really.

2006-03-04T04:52:00.000-08:00

I think I should ditch the habit of blogging when I'm tired, otherwise it'd turn out all emo and bitchy. -_- Pity, it has already happened. Anyway, on with today's events.

I went to Outram... To the Health Promotion Board for injection. Immunisation. The nurse was bloody inexperienced; when she administered the injection, she shot everything in at once, rather then injecting the medicine in at a moderately slow pace.

It was too quick, hence the medicine rushed to the surface of my muscles suddenly, and caused a very mense-cramp like sensation. It was because there was a very abrupt pressure of liquid, which probably did no damage other than to make my nerves scream in pain. I didn't react much to the pain, just winced and sat there and waited.

I went to Compass Point to get ready for the service learning bullcrap thingamee. I hung around, waiting for Kathe to get there but as usual, she's late because of cheerleading. Anyway, I ate ramen, with great difficulty and bought a necklace.

Met up with her, finally, she came. Went to KFC to our class people. After slacking around, I tried to read my Da Vinci Code, then we left for Compass Heights as our mentor came.

We discussed various issues... closed off the meeting, and went to Starbucks. There was a bit of delay, but I won't elaborate. I sat on the floor, reading Da Vinci Code peacefully, whilst everyone else chatted excitedly. One by one, the girls left. I don't know why was I outcasting myself from them; I think it's a reflex I've developed when I was in secondary one.

But it was such a beautiful day. The sky was painted the bluest blue I've ever seen, and dotted by perfectly snow-white clouds. The sun glared down, but it was something I welcomed. The leisure of sitting out, enjoying the ultraviolet rays was something I had forgotten as I immersed myself in the world of technology's entertainments.

I had forgotten the joys and adrenaline spikes of cycling and virtually any other sport a kid like me should be enjoying, rather than slouching in front of the computer like I am now, but hey, there's not a single sun out there. The moon has risen, and well, it ended miserably.

I went home in the company of Joanne and Kathe. I let something of me slipped, and Joanne's incredulous expression made me laugh. I found the nice side of her. I'm happy about that. (:

I went to St.George's Park, because I don't wanna go home. I munched on mashed potatoes, then changed my mind and went to the void deck opposite Bendemeer Secondary. I immersed myself in Da Vinci Code whilst enjoying the wind whip my hair and uniform. I was happy, but I cried.

I lost my phone.

The phone where I keep in touch with all my friends. The phone where I'm saved precious messages in my inbox; may it be the latest gossip or a rant from a heartbroken friend, it was all treasures to me. The phone where I had used to snapped really... naughty pictures of me and my friends. The fuzzy jpg pictures which were strangely good enough for me.

I made a police report. I was in the police station, feeling the cold air-con blow at me whilst the man in front of me typed away on his keyboard. He wore a nonchalant expression; after all, he had seen worse, and my handphone was just a pathetic loss he wouldn't even bother to pity me for. Malay pop songs blasted off the stereo; the printer suddenly came to life, a the man extracted two pieces of printed paper.

I signed both, and kept one. I went home, with tear-stained cheeks and my aunt's phone wrapped around my fingers. I went home and cried even more for my loss, knowing that it wouldn't do bring back my phone, no matter how I weep or cry my eyes out. I just want to cry, because I hadn't, for so long.

I'm fine now. I joked with a few friends about my loss, and felt better.

I really love life and school, but sometimes, things just irritate the hell out of me.

By the way, I failed E. Maths. 15/50; on a happier note, I aced my Chinese with 20/25. Okay, maybe not ACED, but hell, I passed. Good enough for me.

Today, I lost my memories. But I'm still happy, so don't worry about me. I'm okay.(:

2006-03-01T03:00:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!

I went to emBRACE and got my braces today - under Christina's request, they're black and red. (: My flu is still going on. Bloody hell.

Kathe(: Don't worry about heats okay? It's just an itty bitty failure in your life - with your talents and determination, you'd have a lot more winnings than your failures.

Alright, so today for band I visited Christina for a short while.Only three juniors were present when I was, and they are MQ, Stephanie and a new kid around the block who's the spitting image of our ex-conductor Ms Lim, Jocelyn Lim. I won't express my opinion here, because I've shared it with my lovely Christina.

I taught them single stroke, with the metronum and blah blah before jetting off for the dentist appointment in which I was fifteen minutes late thanks to band, but hey, the dentist ain't say no nothing. Hehs.

First off, they remove those rubbery seperators. Then they tested the gaps with rings, in which was 16 and 15 for lower and upper molars respectively. Then, he put this funny plastic thing to keep my mouth open and squirted various nasty smelling/tasting fluids I'd identify as 'glue'. He slowly stuck on the metal things, that put some more things on my molar, removed the plastics, and asked me to pick the colours I'd want for my braces. Black and red, of course.

He then proceeded to snap those things over my braces. Ow, and yeah, the wires are already in.

All that took 45 minutes - quick eh? Pretty brisk for me. I'm pretty fond of them, and I guess in my good mood, I captured the attention of some iModel International talent scout's eye. wh00t. I mean, like hello, how often do you get those people to approach you? Naturally, I feel like showing off but heeey, I'd sound like an ass if I did, so I'd just blog it, since not too many people read my blog, so I guess it's fine.

Personally, I've never thought I was very pretty, but now they've at least boosted my self-esteem to 'Average' level instead of 'Fugly'. Okay cool?(:

I'm obsessed with the song So Sick of Love Songs by Ne-yo, so here are the lyrics. I'm pretty sick of love songs too, considering how everyone seems to be singing it because everyone's attached. Pfffft.

Gotta' change ma answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cause right now it says
We can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cause you walked out of the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice any more

(It's religion love) It's been months for some reason I just
(Can't get over us) And I'm stronger than this
(Enough is enough) No more walking round with my head down
I'm so over being blues crying over you

[chorus]
Cos' I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done of wishing
She was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio

Gotta fix that calendar I have
That's not July 15th
Because since there's no more of you
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
and your memory
Now every song reminds me of what used to be

[chorus]
That's the reason
I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
She was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio

Oooooh

(Leave me alone) Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs) Don't make me think of her smile
(ooooh) I haven't my first shout I'm letting go turning off the radio

I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
She was still here
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio
So why can't I turn off the radio
So why can't I turn off the radio

Why can't I turn off the radio

I'd end the blog post.

-- poem of the month has to be changed, damn.

2006-02-25T13:47:00.000-08:00

Monday: Beginnings of an illness.
Wednesday, I had four teeth extracted.
Thursday: there was band.
Saturday, I went to Emmelyn's chalet.

I'm too ill to elaborate.

2006-02-18T22:21:00.000-08:00

So.

I can finally settle down nicely in front of the computer to update properly. Probably because the day before yesterday was Friday, that's why I'm in such a good mood. I don't feel that miserable as before, coming to think of it.

Friday. PTM. I enjoyed some quality time with my wives. (: Oh, I love the both of you so much. They played important roles in cheering me up. Omg. I don't know how to express my gratitude really. I'm feeling very disoriented at the moment, due to the confusion of clashing emotions and the fact that I'm battling a prickly sore throat. Dequalinium lozenges brought temporary relief though.

I visited emBRACE yesterday, thanks to my wife's referral. I took an x-ray, did a couple of things... Turns out I have to extract four teeth before wearing my braces. My god. On Wednesday I'd be pulling out the lower teeth and Friday the upper teeth. I wonder if it'd hurt, but I'm stocking up on Panodol. Definitely.

I slacked around Far East, ate Ramen Ten, then went home and slacked around. I guess I was feeling sort of lethargic yesterday. I filtered through magazines and snipped out a few pages for the Art assignment...

I can't think of much to blog now because I'm really hungry. Yeah. Band's the coolest performing arts CCA that are music related.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SI WING! (:

Yes, I will remember to bring your mascara on Monday.

She wears a gown of glittering stars. She is the center of attention, of adoring love and admiration. Yet, she belongs to me, not you. I can see your face flush with green and blanch with jealousy, but all I do is laugh in your face.

2006-02-15T03:58:00.000-08:00

When I was 7
They said I was strange
I noticed that my eyes and hair weren't the same
I asked my parents if I was OK
They said you're more beautiful
And that's the way they show that they wish
That they had your smile
So my confidence was up for a while
I got real comfortable with my own style
I knew that they were only jealous cos
People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you
There was a time when I felt like I cared
That I was shorter than everyone there
People made me feel like life was unfair
And I did things that made me ashamed
Cos I didn't know my body would change
I grew taller than them in more ways
But there will always be the one who will say
Something bad to make them feel great
People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you
People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then
So are you
So are you
Everybody talks bad about somebody
And never realises how it affects somebody
And you bet it won't be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be
Cos people are all the same(The same, the same)
And we only get judged by what we do(What we do, yeah, yeah)Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then(Yeah, you)
So are you
So are you
People are all the same(Oh, oh, oh)
And we only get judged by what we do(What we do, yeah)
Personality reflects name
And if I'm ugly then(Yeah, so are you)
So are you
So are you

- Ugly by Sugababes

--

It's a really awesome song that soothes my mood today. I think I'm having one of the most dramatic week I had in my whole life. I am constantly locked in hatred enamating from that vile woman. It was so ugly. Shouting. Screaming. Loose tempers. Scowls. Tears. I was so tired, that I often hid in the toilet crying, the shower concealing my sobs. I would awake with swollen eyes the next day; 'what's wrong?' they ask. I shake my head, smile and said nothing was wrong.

Valentines' Day was more of a friendship day. Great things happened, but were soon fogged with the unpleasant meeting at home with the same vile woman who never seem to understand what compromise is. I work under the dim orange light, scribbling work away, watching the hour hand work fast.

I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to see her face. I want to hide away with my band mates, my lovely seniors and juniors. I want to escape this nightmare.

On Valentines Day, she told me she found a lovely person to be with. I was so happy for her, but I couldn't help feeling jealous. Someone you like courting you? My god, that sounded so untrue. It was like some silly fairytale popped out from Grimm's head, living only in the pages of his happy novels, where everyone laughs and smiles.

I was thinking of her. The other her, mind you. One year. The feelings are fading, but whenever I see her, the feelings come crashing back like unruly blue and green waves, capped with white tips, soaking me in her charm, as I emerged drunk off her personality again and again, teetering precautiously with a blushing face. I almost wrenched my heart from my chest when I crushed the rose in my hands. There was no way I was going to hand it to her.

Angst; we live for it. I live to be happy, but I was hagridden. A veneer of smiles wipes away the family drama from those people I call acquaintances. During art class, our assignment was to make a mask. I made one, and wore it. 'My god, you so don't look like I-Mai!' It was nothing more than a casual joke, but it struck the chord.

Maybe I'm just another actress out there playing her part on stage, taking her cues now and then, speaking the script and directed by the director. She would be nothing but a doll, with the personality of her onscreen character. She's not real.

Hectic schedules are pulling us apart, but we will stay updated on each other via modern technologies yeah? (: Love and miss you, and good luck with that thing. :D

2006-02-08T02:44:00.000-08:00

Last night, mayhem broke loose. The reins that held the fiery tempers snapped and angry words were exchanged. One left the house, tearing down the white concrete pavement, fear and anger grappling her skinny frame, as she dashed into the safe shelter away from that horrible, vile woman. She roamed the night in fear, where men with nasty thoughts and forbidden intentions edged towards her. Desperately frightened, she tore away from them, dashing in between the blocks of the concrete forest, her lungs bursting, her breath ragged, her muscles screaming for oxygen. She found a safer shelter in the playing grounds when the clock strikes twelve.

She hid herself in the slide, cuddled up and slept. An hour passed, before a gentlemen of a balding head gently awoke her. 'Come home, dear girl, she is no longer mad.' Wiping the residue of tears from her tear-stained cheeks, she followed him home in an awkward silence, where she wished for a warm hand to hold. He was a lovely man, almost a fatherly figure, but she needed another hand. She didn't want his, but wanted hers. With a sinking heart, she was welcomed with tuts and stares from the other occupants.

She stumbled into her room, ignoring the other female's quite, subdued tone of voice. 'I've given you the money. It's on your desk.' She shuffles away from her room, her slippers scraping the floor. The younger, teenaged girl sent her a venemous glare daggering her back, then slipped into her room, removed her contact lenses, and slammed her head into the soft pillow. The pale moonlight shone through the window, falling on her etched face, revealing a single trail of water sourcing from her left eye.

The next day, she went to school with swollen eyes and a sleepy face.

-

Yeah, a short summary of what happened. I don't even know why am I so dumb to put it on my blog, but I suppose I have to right? On a happier note...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITANYA! SIV AND I LOVE YOU. ((:

I went Cold Storage today with Wendy, Devon and Jaclyn to buy some stuff for the barbeque this Friday. I'm so excited! I love food-ing with lots of people. I'm just mildly nervous because I know plenty of my band mates are not too fond of me, and I'm not too sure if joining this bonding event would cause more hate than yesterday already had.

Wendy is now officially my TAE buddy. (: Talk-about-everything buddy. I promised her to blog about it and put it on my Friendster. So there! 8th of February. (: Next month we should have a celebration by TAE. [talking about everything] Yay. :D

Nothing particularly of notable activity went on in school I guess. Oh my, Kathe, I love you. (: Thanks for the advice when you saw me with my swollen eyes and heavy leaden head. You are the first person to actually ask properly what is wrong with me and realise that my day hadn't exactly been the best. (: You are truly like a sister destiny forgot to give me. Tsk, destiny is so forgetful. Ohwell.

Today ended with a happier note. After sending Wendy and Devon off, I saw Lilian and Mel compass-ing. Shopped with them for a while. Greeted Nicole Samuel and Mardiah (spelling?) and well... I went to the library, fell asleep, woke up and went back home with the taste of polo sweets lingering in my mouth.

Exhaustion was no issue. I just sat down in front of the computer and spilled my worries, translating them into more literary meanings. Hang on, dear girl, it's Wednesday, and tomorrow's Thursday. After Thursday, Thank God It's Friday! The barbeque. Then Saturday, pasta-ing at Pei Ying's house, LaSalle Open House and Rizzie's barbeque party again. Boy, aren't I busy.

...And I bet you, that vile woman is going to have a fit when she realises I'm out of the house for two solid days. Like, whatever - loser, just shut your trap. I don't need homophobics poking noses into my life. I'm a teenager, I want privacy and I hate discussions. Sorry mom, but I don't want to chat with you.

I wish my guardians/parents would just leave me alone and let me rot and die for all I care. All I ever need is myself and my friends - if worse comes to worse, my friends leave me, I have myself for company. I'm a happy loner, I have been, and always will be. I'm cliqueless, but heck - 3g is a bunch of awesome, fun-loving people, but there's a mental barrier.

If you can melt that mental barrier for me, I promise I'd buy you haribo roulettes for a whole month. (:

I tore my heart out and sew it back in again.

2006-02-04T21:19:00.000-08:00

NEW BLOG-

Filmstrips; I am viewing my life like they are filmstrips flashing across my eyes, blurred pictures that were vague blobs of colour making no sense to me. The colour didn't fade like my mother's sepia-coloured photos, because technology is really improved today. My memoirs were preserved in exciting,vibrant colours, though I can't say the same for the feelings that were left from yesterday.

Anger and spite rose in my mates as they tore at each other - horribly untrue rumours hanging on everyone's lips, and as the slandering continues, they did not realise they were crossing the line. A single tear drop stains the cover of the exercise book, and a blade glides smoothly across a girl's thin wrist. That is when they will finally notice they were wrong about her, they were wrong. Terribly wrong, I stress.

I was kept safe from the raging war that they had declared on one another. I hide in a corner, watching, fearing the ugly side of human beings. They cry out for me to help, to drag me into this battlefield of blood and gore, but I hide away, offering them nothing, not even pleas to stop the bickering. I was guilty too, in some way or other, I guess.

When was the war going to end? An innocent voice pleaded them to halt, but instead of listening, they killed her with a bayonet that sliced her heart in half and smashed her skull into her brain.

- A short extract from Filmstrips, a short story of musings authored by me.

What do you do when your brother calls you a slutty whore and a bitch? Someone tell me the answer.